No more “Assent by Silence”. This fat lady is speaking up.

I have been a naughtly blogger! Like so many others that whole “silly season” caught up with me. One of my new year resolutions is to post here more often, so hopefully you’ll be hearing more from me!

Another resolution? I have made a determination to no longer be silent when I encounter fat-hate in my day to day. Whether it’s directed at me, or at someone else.. I will speak up. I’m not going to be an a*shole about it (even though whoever’s speaking probably is).. but I am not going to give my assent through silence, either.

This has already changed how I have reacted to a couple of situations. Let me share a couple of moments of sass with you.

The other night we went to St Kilda Night Market. Beautiful! The sun setting over the ocean and Luna Park, the market stalls covered in pretty lights, cool crafty things to look at, drummers playing.. wonderful night. I recommend.

While I was there I overhead a woman talking to two of her friends. She was speaking loudly, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only person in the crowded market who could hear her. “Ohmygod!” she was saying, “Did you see her! She sure had a pair of thunder thighs on her! And those legging things! Disgusting!”

Now, I didn’t see who she was talking about.. but that doesn’t matter.

I made eye contact with her, smiled and said archly “Good thing we’re all perfect, Hmmm?”.

She went the colour of tomato. “OMIGAWD NO ONE WAS MEANT TO HEAR THAT!” I just smiled. She was hugely embarassed. I hope I made her think a little bit about the hate spewing out of her mouth and if nothing else – how bad it made her look.

The next example, fresh from yesterday, was directed at something said about me by a total stranger.. You know what it’s like when some idiot says something stupid/derogatory to you – often you are left open-mouthed, hurt and confused.. and it’s not untill the moment is long gone that you think of the perfect comeback..

Not this time! My wits didn’t fail me..

I was waiting for the lights to change outside Flinders St Station with a big crowd of people. Just standing there, tired after a long day. Behind me, a voice. “HEY LADY! You have REALLY bright hair for such a fat chick!”. I look around – nope, no one else with fire-engine red or any other wild colour, he must be talking to me..

I whip around and smile and say, nice and loud so everyone waiting can hear “HEY FELLA! You have a REALLY big mouth for someone with such a weak jaw!”. Still smiling I put my fist against my chin, in a “thinking” gesture.. just in case he doesn’t get the “weak jaw” reference.

He gapes. (No way. Did that fat chick just threaten to PUNCH ME IN THE FACE?) His mixture of confusion, shame, and embarassment is a joy to watch. Other people laugh. At him. A lot. The lights change and I march across the street, feeling pretty good.

It’s good to talk back, to speak up, to show a bit of sass. If you haven’t already, try it sometime, you might enjoy it as much as I am! :)



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  • CTjen

    your come-backs were *awesome* and absolutely perfect!! WTG! :-)

  • Miriam_Heddy

    You totally make me want to have bright hair!

  • syna

    Oh that's so awesome.

    I seem to suffer from overthinking – slows down the wits and I come with a zinger of a reply, 3 hrs later.

  • badu

    Good for you, everyone can do it their own way. You don't have to comeback with any wit if it doesn't come to mind, you can just roll your eyes. Stare incredulously, or those old stand bys 'you just don't understand/get it/ know what (the hell) you are talking about'.

    This kind of standing our ground, in any way we can manage, will help give us back a sense of credibility that so many of us feel we have lost with the endless disbelief we have been faced with. And remind some people of their manners.

    We own our own experiences and we don't have to be at the top of our game to put that across.

  • metrosarah

    Good on you for speaking up. I have done so in a similar way in the past, or at least let somebody know how rude they were being offering up an opinion when I don't even give a shit what they think.

  • Omega

    I also find saying “How very rude!” a good all-purpose comeback. :)

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