Toxic shopping
Saturday, September 17th, 2011
Owning my own clothing shop was a real eye-opener.
Pre-shop (and pre-Fatosphere) I hated clothes shopping. Loved clothes, just hated having to find them. You know, going into every shop in the mall and not finding ONE single nicely fitting garment, berating myself for not fitting into the clothes, believing the fault was somehow in my body rather than some randomly-sized piece of fabric. Finishing the day purchase-less, depressed and full of self-hatred.
Oh, I used to come out with some pearlers. ‘It will all be fine when I’ve lost the weight!’, I’d moan, trying unsuccessfully to zip up something that said it was a size ‘curvaceous’ but actually looked like a cylinder stretched over a large pear. ‘If only my stomach wasn’t so fat!’ ‘I’m so vile!’ ‘I’m so gross!’ Blah blah blah – none of it was true and it didn’t achieve anything except to leave me miserable.
Then I discovered body acceptance, located a few good plus-size designers who made clothing that I liked and fitted me well, and concluded that actually I LOVED clothes shopping. I loved trying on clothing that was made for a body like mine. I had no problems when things didn’t fit because clearly it wasn’t anything wrong with my fantastic bod, but just the cut, style, size or fabric of an inanimate object made by somebody far away who had never met me. Oh, but when I found something I loved that did fit? It was heaven. It was magic happy-land, full of fantastic wardrobe selections, being appropriately dressed for any occasion and people saying agreeable things like ‘I love your outfit! I really like your style.’
Somehow from there I fell into clothes shop ownership.
And had a revelation.
Back in those sad shop-hating days, I was not the only person in the world who had loathed finding clothes! I wasn’t the only human in Australia who would make unkind, hate-filled comments about my own body! In public!
Working in the shop some days is like watching a bizarre reality show called ‘When Social Convention Attacks’. It’s a stream of fabulous people from all walks of life, all shapes, all sizes, all abilities, all backgrounds … all coming into the shop looking AWESOME and then just uttering hate all over their amazing selves.
From my body-acceptance viewpoint I find it really hard to hear, even though I once came from the same dark place. The thing I find most amazing is that there is no real similarity in the people who utter such things, except that they are all human people. Fat, thin, short, tall, all the gender permutations, all the cultural backgrounds, all the abilities. All doing the socially-acceptable thing of hating on themselves. Yes, even the women who happen to perfectly fit the social beauty ideal, still come into the shop and say dreadful things about their poor bodies.
Initially I was prepared to be offended. I now admit that no amount of self-acceptance will ever entirely reconcile me to a thin person asking me ‘Do I look fat in this?’ I tell the truth: no. (One day a very thin woman looked my fat body up and down, her gaze lingering on my hips. ‘Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?’ she sneered. That was a tough moment for keeping my professional calm but I managed. I told her the truth again: ’That dress does fit you well.’)
It’s hard to know what to say when somebody asks me if they look fat in the dress and they do, because they are, and they also happen to look great. I am happy to describe myself as fat, but I know many people don’t take it so well. I usually prefer to focus on the fit of a garment, as above. I tell the customer ‘the dress fits you well’ or ‘I think I can find something to fit your shoulders more comfortably’. Oh, I long for the day I can say ‘Yes it makes you look fat: you look GORGEOUS in it!’ and the customer won’t be offended.
I have worked out that there is no point in me showing offence just because somebody has made one of those two-edged insults (my dear, if you think YOU’RE too fat to be allowed out, what do you think of ME?) Sometimes the comments are clearly aimed to offend, in which case it’s their problem, not mine; and just as sensible for me to ignore the jibe and get on with the job. More often, it’s not meant to offend at all. It’s just one of those things that we have been taught to do to ourselves, to punish ourselves to not living up to the impossible ideals of a Photoshop society. Any anger I feel needs to be directed against society as a whole and not individual people.
Most often it’s just dispiriting. When customers blame themselves if a frock doesn’t fit I remind them about the Shop Rule: ‘It Isn’t You; It’s The Clothes’. If a dress doesn’t fit, either the size or the cut is wrong. We simply turn our efforts to finding something that does fit. Why should a wonderful, complex, living body be blamed if a piece of sewn-together, randomly sized fabric doesn’t fit it?
Most people joyfully embrace the Shop Rule and get into the vibe. Some people simply don’t get it.
We understand that everybody is at a different stage in their journey of self-acceptance. It is up to us as the shopkeepers to encourage an accepting and positive environment, and that means finding nice ways to remind people to join in. We tell people about the Shop Rule; we stock different sizes as much as we are able; we use body-positive language; we ask friends and customers to model clothing for us so that the garments can be viewed on lots of different bodies.
We do get people who want to buy a garment that is too small for them because they are ‘losing weight, and it will be inspiration’. While that makes us really uncomfortable, we can’t make customers’ decisions for them, but we usually recommend that people buy in their current size so they can enjoy the garments right now. Our dresses are like puppies – they want to be loved now, not put aside to feel lonely!
We don’t buy into customers’ negative comments about themselves. If somebody says ‘I can’t wear that style until I’ve lost weight’ we tell them up-front to go ahead and try it on, since they’ll look just as lovely at any size. If somebody loves a dress and it makes them happy but they are scared to wear something sleeveless, we will always point out that there are no laws against bare arms in Australia, and tell the customer the truth when they just look really comfortable and good in a garment. And we always come down to Shop Rule no. 2 – You Must Feel Comfortable – by which we mean if you want to wear the garment then you jolly well should!
Having said all this, there is one thing I just can’t bear to hear: negative comments about other people. It’s bad enough hearing perfectly good people trash themselves, but it’s frightening when that negativity is directed outwards.
Some people are just toxic. Two women once looked at our shop sign which mentions sizes 6 to 34, and said very loudly ‘We didn’t even know there was such a THING as size 34!’ (I was scandalized but my business partner calmly replied ‘Of course there is,’ and left it at that, which actually did the trick.) One fantastic customer who we adore, often comes in with her mother, who tells her that she looks ugly in everything, and criticises individual parts of her body non-stop. It’s horrible to hear. And every now and then somebody will come in with a toxic friend or partner who will attempt to vet everything they choose, and try to stop them selecting clothes they love: in the words of one toxic husband ‘You can’t have that, it makes you look porky’ (Grrr, that comment nearly did make me lose my cool). Sometimes a group of friends are dominated by one cruel person who will hog all the time and energy of others while making oh-so-funny comments that undermine their friends’ confidence.
You know, it is amazing how often people creep back later, without their toxic friends, to try things on again in peace and tranquility. Toxic friends don’t win anything in the end …
Trying to keep our little business positive can feel like a losing battle when gorgeous customer after gorgeous customer plays the ‘I’m so …’ game. A game that we are taught to play from a very early age, and which some unscrupulous people use as a weapon to hurt others. It is so prevalent, even people who desperately want to be body-confident sometimes find themselves doing it subconsciously.
Interestingly though, knowing how prevalent it is can actually be helpful. Understanding that nearly everybody does it – seeing it played out again and again and again and again – this helps it to become more visible, more recognisable. Seeing that all kinds of people succumb to self-hatred, that there is no connection whatsoever to what they say about themselves and very evident reality: this has turned out to be valuable in my own struggles not to give in to it.
Next time you’re in the dressing room struggling with a zipper on some garment that just wasn’t cut out for you, try to remember that you’re not alone. All over Australia, people of every conceivable shape and size are doing the same thing, and blaming themselves, and feeling awful about it. Remember that, then take some soothing deep breaths, get dressed again, leave the dressing room, go find your shop assistant and explain that the garment didn’t fit. Ask for something that fits your perfectly good body. And repeat after me: ‘It Isn’t Me: It’s The Clothes’.
And don’t bring a toxic friend shopping!
Tight Squeezes and Other Frustrations.
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011
There is this Italian restaurant here in Perth that serves the most delicious authentic Italian cuisine imaginable. The place itself is small and cosy, and the staff are loud and friendly. It’s one of those places that is always full; so full, in fact, that you can’t even make reservations and instead have to wait in line outside. My partner adores their Cannelloni and I am in love with their Tortellini Carbonara. And yes, I always try to force a Tiramisu in as well and every single time, I am defeated and left with more than half of a plate left.
And even though I could eat their delicious food every day of the week, I started choosing other not-so-great restaurants over this amazing place because every time I go there and line up outside, I look into this amazing little restaurant and am confronted by the reality that I am wider than the spaces between the chairs and tables.
When I saw a couple way in the corner finish their meal and get up to make a beeline to the cashier, I was left with a feeling of dread because I was going to have to attempt to squeeze my way between chairs to get to that table; that stupid fucking table that looked like it was a mile away from where I stood.
I hated it most when I had to actually ask the diners to get out of their seat to let me through. There have been occasions where more than a few people have had to stand up and push their seats forward just so I can squeeze past and be seated at my table.
I hated that. I hated being a disruption. I hated disturbing people while they ate. I hated feeling like an actual elephant in the room. And I really really hated how all I ended up thinking about during dinner was how I was going to have to disturb more people when it was time to leave.
Most of these feelings were put to rest when I became part of the FA community. My whole outlook on the situation has changed now. When I have to squeeze my big fat arse between two chairs and apologise for having to ask the diners to move in a little, I realise now that people don’t actually care; their night has not been ruined by the fat girl who needs to get past, and my night is not ruined by those horrible feelings of embarrassment anymore.
I write this entry not to bitch about how unfortunate it is to be fat. On the contrary, I’m loving who and what I am, and I love my body now more than ever. But there definitely are things we fat people have to think about that the thinner population don’t, and that’s what I want to read about from you, the readers of this amazing blog.
What can you think of that is similar to this situation? Do you worry about going on a scuba diving tour and not being able to fit into a wetsuit? Do you worry about going to theme parks and not being able to go on certain rides? What do you do to overcome these feelings of embarrassment or exclusion? Through our collective experiences, perhaps we can help each other in dealing with these negative ideas by replacing them with healthier and more positive ways of thinking.
Dressing Rooms and body image
Tuesday, August 9th, 2011
So, last blog I discussed a bit about the challenges and benefits of running a clothing shop that stocks a bigger size range – not ‘plus size’ or ‘non-plus size’ but PEOPLE size.
As well as having a shop where the majority of customers could reasonably expect to find their size, we dream of a shop where the entire experience is positive and inclusive.
We can already tell that this is something that it’s going to take time and effort to achieve. To begin with, as a tiny startup business our not-too-pricey premises are just too small to achieve what we’d like in terms of a physical experience. There isn’t as much room as we’d like for customers with wheelchairs or prams, and we only have one dressing room.
But the dressing room is where we decided to start in creating a nicer, more body-positive environment. So that is the topic of this blog post.
We were lucky that the premises we could afford to rent included a separate space that was originally used as an office. It’s spacious and private – the perfect start for a dressing room.
We are not fans of dressing rooms that are too small, rickety or exposed. It can be so confronting, society being what it is, to try on clothing in a public environment, that anything that increases a sense of personal security helps.
We have set the room up as a vintage ladies’ boudoir, with an antique dressing table and boudoir chair, cosy rug, 2 mirrors, pretty prints on the walls and plenty of room to hang up clothing. We’re currently on the lookout for the perfect dressing room robe, so that customers can fling on something modest, generously sized and attractive if they want to pop out into the shop without having to get fully dressed again. There is plenty of room there for several people to share the space, so friends and partners can pile in together and have giggly fun trying things on.
We’ve also set up a separate space outside the change room, for somebody to wait while the room is occupied. Again we aimed to make it as comfy as possible with an antique chair and lamp, a coffee table and heaps of books and magazines to leaf through. If somebody ends up spending serious time there we will offer them a cuppa while they wait.
We love our dressing room setup, and wish we had room for more. But in our eventual plans, that will come. In the meantime it means a lot to us when a customer goes in for the first time and makes the happy noise!
Customers have reported to us that a pleasant, comfortable environment for trying clothes on helps with self confidence and positive body image.
This might seem crazy, but I hadn’t made the connection between a comfortable environment and positive body image before! I certainly have had awful experiences trying on clothes in tiny curtained-off spaces where privacy is not exactly guaranteed. Worse still when there is no mirror, so you have to come out into the public space to see whether the dress clings nastily to the tummy or doesn’t quite zip up the back. I certainly had noticed that an uncomfortable dressing room can bring body issues to the fore.
What I hadn’t realized before is to what extent an environment encouraging a relaxed, leisurely approach to trying on clothes, and which showcases the customer’s body in an attractive setting, has the opposite effect.
I suppose it makes sense. It is true that we decorated the dressing room nicely to encourage customers to relax and be kind to themselves. The pretty environment showcases a body positively and – hopefully – reminds customers that they deserve a bit of luxury and a bit of something special.
We’ve found, interestingly, that only having the one room isn’t that much of a problem. In fact, quite the contrary. The shop is so small that customers tend to interact with each other. It is common for a customer to dance delightedly out of the dressing room to show off a nicely fitting dress to the entire shop, and it’s also common for customers to share the dressing room, offering it to another customer while they look for more to try on. We’ve had some very pleasant experiences seeing customers make friends with complete strangers in the shop! Something about that cosy little room makes people slow down and calm down and start to experience the shopping expedition as a treat rather than a chore.
It is also common for friends to share the dressing room together. Only the other week I was lucky enough to be in the shop when three young women came in, clearly good friends out on a girly shopping trip. All being completely different sizes and shapes, I was thrilled that they could all enjoy the shop together, since there is no way they would usually all be able to find something to try in the same shop.
They all piled into the dressing room together and had a ball, laughing, popping out to select garments for each other to try on, and generally having a whale of a time. It was brilliant fun, for me as much as for them. It was one of those moments that all the effort and cost and hard work of opening the shop was completely worthwhile: the type of reward that is worth more than money.
The dressing room experience has convinced me that I should look at my own home environment and how it impacts on my body consciousness. It may only help a little to have nice surroundings, but if it is possible to make that happen, every little bit helps.
I would love to know more about your own thoughts and experiences: what makes you feel more positive about your lovely body? What do you wish more shops would do?
Happy fashion!
Blossom
Change and growth
Friday, July 8th, 2011
I received an email request through the contact form that Nick forwarded to me today, and it made me realise that while I haven’t abandoned my beliefs in body acceptance, I’ve found that there’s so much more I want to talk about than just FA. Those of you who follow me on Twitter and Tumblr would probably know that I’ve started my own blog, Cutselvage.com recently. I’m really enjoying the freedom to talk more generally about my life and how that interacts with my body acceptance.
Axis of Fat was a great platform for me, but I’ve grown and changed since it was created, so it’s only fair to myself to let it go, and utilise my new blogging space. I’ll be leaving all my old posts up, and I’ll probably cross-post a few of them over at the new blog progressively.
It’s been a pleasure interacting with all the commenters here, and I hope I’ll see lots of you at Cutselvage.com
Fatshion.
Monday, June 13th, 2011
So it’s been fairly quiet over here at the Axis. I know that a large number of us have had our own life issues, and frankly blogging has to take a back seat to that kind of stuff.
I honestly don’t know how people are able blog on a regular basis. When I didn’t have a job it was a whole lot easier, but now that I’m working it is a whole new kettle of fish. Really I should be asleep already, but once again fat politics races through my head at all hours. Luckily, we have a blog to discuss these items, hrm?
I’m getting married. And thankfully, I’m not a traditional bride. The idea of wearing a white dress and having a big party honestly scares the crap out of me. I realise, however, that I am a minority. If I were going to go down the route of traditional bridalwear, I do believe I’d be a bit disappointed with my options.
Take for example, J. Crew. My style at the moment is very J. Crew. I feel the aesthetic is simple, comfortable and stylish. Unfortunately, J. Crew do not stock my size. I am a size 24 (on average) but their clothing seems to only go to a size 16 (and even then only in certain styles.) If I were going to do the whole “walk down the aisle” thing in a traditional way, I’d love to wear something like this dress. Which is a real pity, since it only goes up to size 6.
I think it’s great that people from sizes 0 to 6 have so many options, but given the supposedly alarming rising obesity rates, shouldn’t fat people have just as many (if not more) options?
As I am prone to doing, I wrote all these points in an email to the company. It’s laziness and possible prejudice on their parts, but I feel as if we’re not going to see any change in the current system unless we all stand up and demand more choice. Have you ever written to a company asking for their fashion to be more size inclusive?
Food for thought.
Mmm, food.
Ethical Fatshion: A Mythical Unicorn?
Monday, December 27th, 2010
Yesterday I caught up with Sonya and her mother to do some shopping at the Boxing Day sales at the massive Chermside shopping centre. To put this in perspective, according to the centre’s website, there are 69 stores that cater to women’s fashion. Of these, there are three dedicated plus-size stores – Autograph, City Chic and MySize. Of these, City Chic is the only one that is geared towards a younger demographic. There are some others that cater up to a size 18 or 20, but generally speaking, most stop at 16 (or a 14).
Standing outside the door at 8:45am, waiting with a crowd of other plus-sized women, I began to feel irritated. The Courier-Mail online covered the sales, and City Chic actually got a name-drop, with the author noting that there were 30-40 shoppers waiting outside. My irritation stemmed from the fact that here we were, people lining up to get some nice clothes at a decent price, and yet retailers continue to insist that fat people don’t spend money, aren’t fashionable, ad infinitum.
(I bought a dress and a top, by the by).
But today, while talking to a few other like-minded fat people about store policies and supporting businesses with practices we agree with, I began to wonder: do stores that produce ethical clothing for fat people even exist? It is so damn difficult just to dress in the styles that I like, it seems like ethically produced plus-sized clothing must be like a frickin’ mythical unicorn.
I know that ethical fashion can have a wide range of meanings, from non-sweatshop produced garments, to retailers that treat their staff with fairness and follow the law, to just not treating their customers like fools, and who are pro-body acceptance. I can’t think of any Australia-based ones that I’m aware of.
When I think about what I’d like to see, it’s mostly to do with the third point. I simply adore Re/Dress NYC for this reason – they are explicitly pro-acceptance, in all forms. And since they stock mostly used and vintage clothes, I could shop there with a clear conscience. Sadly, being on the other side of the world from them makes it a bit difficult to get there regularly.
I’d love to see more retailers that engage with body acceptance. I’d love to see the moderators of the City Chic and Evans facebook pages delete shaming and negative comments, for example. (There were some simply horrible comments on a photo that Gazel of Bonjour Gazel entered in an Evans comp that were incredibly hateful).
The holy grail, of course, would be a pro-body acceptance, non-sweatshop-based, fair-wage-paying retailer that provided on-trend and classic pieces for men, women and everyone in between in a wide variety of sizes. Hey, a girl can dream.
So tell me – what do you want to see from your retailers? What does ethical fashion mean to you? And do any plus-size ethical fashion retailers exist?
Evans and the IBTC
Friday, October 29th, 2010
A couple of weeks ago I purchased a truly ridiculous number of bras and underwear from Evans. Now, this may or may not have been because I’ve never seen cute bras in my size before, but OMG. Evans sell them. And they’re CUTE, and it’s AMAZING. I even bought a padded balcony bra. Seriously, it’s like they took what I was raging about here and actually listened.
Now, I may or may not ever get around to doing a full review, but if you’re fat and you’ve got small boobage, I can recommend these bras. They’re fairly well made, reasonably priced (by comparison anyway – i don’t want to be spending $80 on one fucking bra, people) and they have a nice combination of styles. And they actually fit!
YAY SPENDING FAT DOLLARS!
Baby steps as a fatshionista
Monday, October 11th, 2010
I had a very exciting day yesterday. Not only was I the MC at the wedding of an old high school friend, but I took my first tentative steps into the world of fatshion!
Back in July I bought an amazing blue pleated dress from City Chic with the intent of wearing it to the wedding, but back then I kind of just planned to do my usual thing of wearing the dress with whatever black accessories I could scrounge from my wardrobe. Over the past few months though I’ve been inspired by so many amazing fatshionistas that I decided to go all out and really rock it! This was the result! (Sorry about the dodgy photos but I was home alone armed with nothing but my laptop and iPhone, and being quite busy on the day with MC duties, didn’t get any other good full length shots.)
Blue poppy: Tempest Ahoy at Etsy - $10.00 (attached to my own black headband).
Earrings & Necklace: Diva – $15.00. Extender chain for necklace, $3.00.
Dress: City Chic – $149.00.
Bolero Jacket: Crossroads. I’ve had this for so long I can’t remember how much it was.
Shoes: Diana Ferrari. On sale at DFO for $79.00 (and paid for by my lovely BF!)
Purse: Birthday gift from a friend.
The purse was the inspiration for contrasting colours for the outfit. As soon as I opened the wrapping paper on my birthday I was like ‘this will be perfect with the dress!’ After that, it was a matter of sourcing the right shoes and accessories!
Do you know what I loved most about this outfit? The fact that, despite all the hours I put into planning and shopping and thinking about how I was going to make a statement for the fatties of the world – how we can all look beautiful and fashionable – on the day of the wedding, I didn’t think once about the fact that I was fat. Not once when I was complimented on the dress did I think to myself ‘Not bad for a fatty, right?’. I didn’t once worry about double chins or my flabby arms or my butt that sticks out to high heaven. The whole day I felt amazing.
Lillian over at My Unacceptable Body had this to say about her recent Moment of Divine Fatshion:
Clothes can be magical, not because they can transform you into someone else, but because they can vibrate harmoniously with who you really are, enhancing and amplifying your you-ness. And although we can’t realistically live our whole lives in perfect fabulousness of dress, we all deserve a regular dose of allowing our outsides to look as we are inside: comfortably and effortlessly beautiful.
That’s how I felt in my blue dress yesterday, and how I aspire to feel all the time. Or at least most of the time.
Fat Book Reviews: “No Fat Chicks” – Margaret Clark
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
It’s no secret to those who know me that I’m a voracious reader. I’m the child who got told off for trying to read at the dinner table, who was teased mercilessly in grade five for spending my lunch time reading, who carries a book with her everywhere she goes. I buy handbags based on whether or not they’re big enough to fit a book in or not.
Specifically, though, I adore Young Adult fiction – always have. And I have very fond memories of Australian teen writer Margaret Clark, so when I wandered into my local second-hand bookstore and spotted a copy of “No Fat Chicks” for $10AUD (this is cheap, fyi – books in Australia are very expensive), I thought it would be the perfect subject for a review.
No Fat Chicks (cover)
This is the blurb on the back:
“No fat chicks? When Mandy Miratoosi sees that bumper sticker on her brother Mark’s car, she’s ready to pluck his cocksure tail feathers once and for all. Mandy’s a big girl, and Mark’s mates need to know that lean is not always dream material. Featherweights and bantamweights beware. Mandy is out to show that big chicks can be winners!”
Clark’s writing style is simple, fresh and engaging, and while this book isn’t perfect, it’s about as close as I’ve read to a pro-fat acceptance message in Young Adult Australian fiction.
The premise is straightforward: Mandy Miratoosi is fifteen, an ace at maths, and a big girl. Her mother died when she was three, and her father remarried, his new wife bringing three kids from her previous marriage into the family. Bennet is quiet, friendly and sweet, studying second year Arts/Law at university. Markerton, Mark for short, is seventeen, conventionally very attractive and, frankly, a fuckwit of the highest order who makes Mandy’s life hell. Then there’s seven-year Babeth, a gorgeous child model and pageant attendee, seemingly at the behest of their mother. The story revolves around Mandy coming to grips with her intelligence and her size with charm and humour.
Mandy refers to her stepmother as ‘mum’ and her stepbrothers and stepsister as brothers and sisters, and clearly has a lot of affection and love for Pandora (mum), Bennet and Babeth, and even Mark, despite the way he constantly torments her.
In chapter one, Mandy wakes up to find her brother Mark has plastered a “No Fat Chicks” bumper sticker to her mirror, and shortly afterwards discovers she’s topped the state in the Maths Competition, and the action snowballs from there.
Let’s talk about the positives. This book shows real depth and nuance in articulating fat acceptance for teens, particularly in the way it intersects with feminism, and Mandy is remarkably self-aware. When Mark insults her for eating a croissant, Mandy knows it’s pointless to argue with him (p6). And on page 7, she thinks:
I was over it with all the references to my shape. It wouldn’t matter how little I ate. I’d still be big large with big bones. Maybe covered with a bit less fat, but still big.
Mandy tries to rip the sticker from her mirror, but only manages to tear of the ‘N’ of ‘No’. So she grabs a texta and scrawls a ‘G’ next to, creating the slogan ‘Go Fat Chicks!’.
I’ll resist the urge to go through the plot chapter by chapter, so here’s some choice quotes:
We had netball practice at the civic centre which is in a large park only a short walk from Newberry [High School]. Both Krys [Mandy's friend] and I play for the Dodgers, nicknamed the Podgers by Mark because there’s five fairly hefty girls on the team including our friend Lexie. But we’re running second on the summer premiership ladder, so maybe strength and stamina count.
I love this – it’s so matter-of-fact: of course these girls play sport, they’re active! For those who haven’t heard of netball, there’s a summary here. I played it for about eight years, and let me tell you, it’s not for the faint-hearted. Mandy’s friend Lexie, who’s mentioned here, is also a fantastic amateur car mechanic, and this is used to great comic effect later in the book.
When the girls at Newberry High discover that the NFCC (No Fat Chicks Club) have plastered No Fat Chicks stickers all over their lockers, Mandy steps in amidst the bickering:
“There’s only one to deal with this,” I said. “We have to form our own vigilante group and get our own stickers to plaster over theirs. This is war.”
[…]
“It’s action time. Pass this message,” said Roxy. “All females a size 14 and over are to meet in the Girl’s Common Room at lunch time.” (p76)
We get a little dose of how fat is a feminist issue, too, when the girls discuss how their English teacher and one of their male classmates are fat and don’t have the same campaign against them. In fact, scrawled beneath the sticker on Mandy’s locker are the words “If you can’t root ‘em, shoot ‘em”. (‘Root’ is Aussie slang for ‘fuck’ in the sexual sense). This is incredibly frightening. Advocating murdering fat women simply for the heinous crime of not being fuckable. So, so disturbing.
This meeting is one of the greatest things I’ve read depicting fat acceptance, or even any form of social justice.
At lunchtime Lexie, Krys and I hurried over to the Girl’s Common Room. It was crowded. I hadn’t realised there were so many size fourteens and over in our school. And of course a whole lot of them hadn’t come: either too embarrassed to say that they were size fourteen, or not into attending radical meetings. There were also a few thin girls in the crowd. That was okay if they wanted to listen in. (p80)
Straight away, Clark makes it clear that this is about the fat girls, but that they’re inclusive as well. It’s like holding up a little mirror for what I hope thin women see in FA – a movement that includes them, but asks them to check their privilege at the door.
There’s discussion about how ‘No Small Dicks’ would be a good comeback, and here Clark surprises me again:
“We know it’s sexist and rude and thoughtless for guys to have a No Fat Chicks club and stick labels all over the place. It’s a put-down. Now, we could do the same: say we don’t want small dicks, or thick ones, or whatever. But then we’re stooping to their level of mentality.” (p81)
I’m thrilled to see the sexism connection, and we get a great moment where the meeting disintegrates into shouting, but Mandy takes charge. Much discussion occurs over whether men should be allowed to join their club, or thin women, what sort of slogans to have, how they’ll pursue their agenda, but the main thrust is that it’s collaborative, and that these high school girls have serious agency. I approve.
This may be my favourite quote of the novel (sorry about the length, it works better in context):
“What’s all this crap I hear about you starting an all girls’ fat club?” asked Mark at the dinner table that night.
“That’s a good idea,” said Mum. “Healthy eating and exercise. I’m proud of you, Mandy. I can get some of my modelling friends to come along and give your club some tips on how to minimise your size by wearing the correct colour combinations and give you some make-up lessons if you like.”
“Mum, it’s not that kind of club,” I said. “We’re promoting the right of women to be large.” (p86)
This is AMAZING. No ifs, no buts – the right of women to be large. Not only does Mandy stand up to her mother, but is incredibly matter-of-fact about it. Love love love.
In the middle, Mandy has a discussion with her horrid brother Mark about why he does these things, and it’s a fantastically, frighteningly accurate portrayal of the way increasing numbers of men view women – as hilarious playthings for their amusement:
“It’s just a bit of harmless fun. You girls get all wound up. That’s why we do it.”
I sighed.
“Why do you want to wind us up?”
“I told you. It’s fun watching you all spin out. It was fun watching Krys try to impress me. [...] It’s fun driving down the road with ‘No Fat Chicks’ written on a bumper sticker. Nothing bad or evil. F-U-N.”
“So you’re causing all this aggro and grief to people because it’s fun,” I said. “You’re stucking offensive signs on lockers at school because it’s fun [..].”
Terrifyingly on point. Clark illustrates perfectly how thoughtless these tormentors can be.
The book isn’t perfect – there’s talk about how Mandy wears a black dress because it’s ‘slimming’, references to women as ‘females’ and a couple of other things that set my radar off, but these are minor issues in the scheme of the overall themes of the book.
There’s so much more to this novel than I can give justice to in a blog post, so I really encourage you to seek a copy out if you can. It’s an easy 200-page read, and given its shortness, deals with the issues of being smart, the beauty culture and being fat in a remarkably nuanced way. It may be difficult to procure for international readers, but Australians will have a good chance of finding it in a library or second-hand bookstore.
One last quote to end with, after Mandy wins a waterslide competition at Wet’N'Wild:
“On behalf of all large females I will use this victory in my campaign to fight against the ‘No Fat Chicks’ mentality,” I shouted into the microphone.
If that isn’t activism, I don’t know what is. Love ya, Mandy.
—
No Fat Chicks by Margaret Clark
Published by Random House Australia, 1998
City Chic rips off Jibri
Friday, September 24th, 2010
You know, when a plus-size brand makes copies of runway fashion, or designers that only go up to a size 14, I’m pretty sanguine about it. It’s not the best situation, but if regular retailers aren’t going to make clothes in a wide variety of sizes, then more power to the plus-size stores for making fashion available to fat people.
What I don’t condone is a plus size chain store ripping off a smaller, independent plus size designer.
Kiki of Why, Kiki, Why? broke the story here, but I felt I had to chime in.
City Chic, who are one of Australia’s few plus-size fashion chains, have blatantly and unapologetically ripped off Jibri, an independent plus-size retailer who sells through etsy.
Here is City Chic’s Bumba top, a part of their current Spanish Rose Collection:
And here is Jibri’s Plus Size Ruffle Front Halter:
Eerily similar, don’t you think?
I contacted City Chic via their contact form to complain – I know that technically designers can’t copyright their products, but I was (and am) so angry that I wasn’t thinking super-clearly:
I am frankly appalled to discover that City Chic has blatantly lifted a design from a small, independent plus-size manufacturer. Your Button Bumba top is an obvious rip off of Jibri’s plus size ruffle front halter (http://www.etsy.com/listing/50369223/jibri-plus-size-ruffle-front-halter). I will not shop at stores that participate in the theft of small designers’ intellectual property.
Kind regards, Zoe (www.axisoffat.com)
I didn’t hold high hopes of getting a particularly interested response, and I was right:
Hello,
Thank you for contacting City Chic customer care. Your concerns have been sent through to our buying and supply team and they will look into this further.
Kind Regards,
Jasmine
While I’m heartened that they might actually forward this on to their buying and design team, the official response from City Chic’s facebook page doesn’t fill me with hope:
City Chic Hi Jen,
Yeah, as Sarah said, all designs are copied… Our buying team set out to different locations around the world, and check out what’s happening in the fashion world with trends, and upcoming must-have-items… It’s not about stealing… credit from other designers, it’s here for you to have, not only for plus sized ladies to wear, but at a fraction of the price!!!!
Hope this answered your question!
♥ CC, x
It’s this comment that makes me want to facepalm so badly. Because here’s the deal: Jibri charges $90.00 for a custom-made garment. City Chic? $79.95. For mass-produced garment. Which, if you were buying internationally (and City Chic does seem to be trying to crack the international market), would actually be more than Jibri’s price, thanks to the cost of international shipping and the strong Australian dollar.
The comment about “credit from other designers” leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, given that there was no credit whatsoever given to Jasmine, the designer of Jibri.
City Chic might think it’s appropriate to copy from small, independent, plus-size designers, but I don’t. And that’s why I won’t be shopping there from now on. If you value supporting small businesses, up-and-coming designers and high-quality, well-priced fashion, I highly encourage you to vote with your wallet and take your business elsewhere.
Remember; despite what City Chic wants you to believe, there are other options out there. If you want to support Australian businesses, why not try Entitled, or Dream Diva?
As Kiki and Derryn would say: Shame, City Chic, shame.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/jibrionlineJi
