Calling it out: casual anti-fat bigotry sucks.
Sunday, September 12th, 2010
I’ve been away from the fat-o-sphere for a few months – I’ve still been reading, but I haven’t been blogging, or being terribly activist-y at all. But I’m back now, and I hope be blogging regularly for you all at AoF!
It’s been an interesting time for me – lots of changes and decisions, lots of stress. But lots of good times too, especially with my friends.
I do everything I can to make my life a safe space. I cultivate friendships (both online and off) with people who hold similar beliefs to my own, who are anti-bigotry in all its insidious forms. I try to call people in my life out on their problematic usage of language and stereotypes. It’s not always easy.
About six weeks ago I started a new job in a state government department. The people I work with are universally lovely – helpful and friendly, and very welcoming to new staff members. I was having a bit of a chat with my co-worker and another girl who works with our department but on another floor one afternoon, when the conversation segued into a discussion about public transportation, and its limitations.
Now, I’m a huge (heh) advocate of public transport. I’m 24 years old, and don’t have a driver’s licence – not even a learner’s permit. At some point I will do it, but it’s fairly low on my list of priorities; I live very close a major busway stop, in an inner-city suburb. Technically I’m within reasonable walking distance of my workplace, though I catch the bus most mornings. I’m also only a fifteen minute walk from a train station.
So, I love public transport. We talked a little bit about the issues with it – rising fare costs and the like – when one of the girls leaned forward conspiratorially and said (paraphrased slightly): “You what I hate though? When I’m sitting down, and an obese – you know, morbidly obese – person gets on and I’ve got a free seat next to me.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What’s the problem?” I asked.
She looked a little flustered. “Well, you know, if they sit next to me, they’re going to touch me. I hate that!”
I remember resisting the urge to tear strips off her, and said mildly, “Well, R___, I’m morbidly obese, so I hope it wouldn’t offend you if I sat next to you.”
I nearly gave up on the conversation when she responded with, “Oh, but you’re not like that – I mean people that literally hang over the edge of the seat.”
“It’s fortunate that you aren’t actually paying for a seat on a bus, then – we pay to get from point A to point B, there’s no guarantee it’ll be comfortable,” I said, and went back to my desk, gritting my teeth.
The seats on Brisbane buses aren’t large. I carry most of my weight in my belly, so my hips aren’t super wide, but I do hang over the edge of the seat a little. I’m a size 22. How could I not? Seating is not made to accommodate fat people. It’s this kind of casual bigotry – ew yuck I don’t want fatties touching me – that makes me incredibly annoyed, and I try to speak up against it whenever I can.
Interestingly, there haven’t been any negative repercussions. I still get on well with this co-worker, we chat about mundane stuff, our work and the like. But she hasn’t brought up the subject again. I doubt I’ve converted her – we all know how difficult an idea size/fat acceptance is in our thin-privileged culture – but if I can sow the seeds, start the thought process towards someone beginning not to hate themselves and other fat people, then it’s a conversation that’s well worth having.
I went to Sydney for a few days in July. I’ve not had trouble with airline seats so far – they’re occasionally a tight fit, but I can get my seatbelt done up without an extender. No trouble this time either, though the seatbelt on the return trip seemed shorter, and no one was rude to me when they sat down next to me either.
But I’m flying to New York City (OMG OMG) in early November, and I’m a little nervous about that. It’ll be the longest flight I’ve ever done (13 hours BNE-LAX, and 5 hours LAX-NYC, the same coming back) – the closest I’ve done to that is the nine hour flight to Japan. Hopefully QANTAS’ seats will be comfortable; I’ve never flown with them before so it will certainly be an experience.
I’m ridiculously excited about this trip, NYC has been a dream destination for me for years. Any suggestions on things to do? I’m going to go see lots of shows, and of course I’ll be hitting up Re/Dress – can’t wait to finally see it for real!
Bonus photo: It was the lovely Sonya’s birthday party last night, and being very mature women, we decided that a riff on this meme would be hilarious:
HURRRGGHHHHH
We totally challenged the dominant paradigm. Also we are fancy! Sonya is wearing an Asos dress, I am wearing a Monroe (Myer) dress, and we are wearing the same black oxfords from Betts. In fact, we bought them at the same time! Fatty shopping bonding. <3
Art imitates life…
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
I took my daughter to the art gallery today – we went and saw the European Masters exhibition here in Melbourne.
Art Galleries make me happy – they feed my soul.. and part of the reason is because they give me some nice examples of beauty that doesn’t fit the modern ideal.
They remind me that once upon a time, my shapely arms, hips, belly and thighs were considered very beautiful indeed…that they way I look, was, in fact, the popular ideal.
I look at these paintings and I see me – or I see people I know. At the very least I see bodies that are like the bodies around me. I see the familiar. I also see how all these different shapes and sizes are beautiful..
Strange isn’t it – that in this day and age of photography and video that we struggle to find images we can similarly relate to in our popular media. The advent of the “size zero” ideal, along with the photoshop wizards have robbed us of a benchmark the majority of people can relate to.
In an age where we ought to be able to more accurately reflect “real” bodies.. we have all the tools to show EXACTLY what normal, regular, average people in all their glorious diversity look like right at our fingertips… instead, for some reason, what our magazines and billboards and catwalks show us is a hugely distorted view….
When we look backwards, to the age where they didn’t have photography, we see more realism shown through painter’s brushes than we do through our photographers’ lenses.
Strange, don’t you think?
Here’s some of the beautiful, beautiful fat people I was admiring today:
I don’t know about you, but just looking at these makes me feel more at peace with my own body.
Hide my unsightly cellulite? No thanks.
Sunday, August 15th, 2010
Despite knowing how bad they can be for me and my mental health, I am still a reader of fashion magazines. I am a bit of a consumer at heart. I get a little thrill when I open the pages and the amount of “WANT. NOW.” overwhelms my senses and I am enthralled.
What takes me out of my “Oooo shoes!” trance is reading icky body shaming comments disguised as “helpful advice” for the girls.
My own fault for expecting something different from a mainstream women’s fashion magazine, I’m sure, but I was still disappointed to read a column in the latest issue of Shop ‘Til You Drop (September 2010), especially after their recent body love issue.
A writer from Australian Harper’s Bazaar has been writing a regular column for Shop from the viewpoint of being a plus sized woman in the fashion industry. I expect working in the fashion industry, being surrounded day in and day out by fabulous clothes that largely exclude a plus size body would take a toll on a person’s viewpoint of themselves, no matter how confident they usually are. The comment made in the column (“No one looks good with cottage cheese thighs” [pg. 60]), made me sad.
Yeah, ok, it’s probably seen as a pretty innocuous comment. Innocent, even. But couched in the “just us girls” rhetoric and the attitude that whenever girls get together, all they do is gossip about the state of their bodies, what they ate, what they bought, who is a bitch, how hot that guy is, it seems problematic at the very least.
Not everyone is at the stage of loving their bodies. I don’t love my body 100% of the time, 24 hours a day. To expect people to do so would be unrealistic. Everyone has their moments.
But, I worry about the influence of these comments and columns in a mainstream fashion magazines on impressionable teenage girls (hell, impressionable women and people who identify as women). I worry that it convinces them that it’s expected of them to hate their bodies, that they’re expected to tear themselves apart.
I’ll admit that, for a moment, I focused on my cellulite, the dimples on my arse.
Until I shook myself out of it. Until I remembered that I like my thighs, my arse. I’m still not quite at the love stage yet, but I’m getting there. And I don’t care if “no one wants to see it”, I will be happy when I’m ok to see it.
A note to bra manufacturers: YOU CAUSE ME RAAAAAAGE
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
I am fat. (You may have already guessed this one, heh.) But I also have small boobs. Like, A/B Cup. It’s really annoying. As my friend Kylie put it, manufacturers automatically assume that as your band size goes up so must your boob size.
Note to bra makers: THIS ISN’T TRUE FOR EVERYONE.
They simply do not make cute bras in my size. They barely make ANY bras in my size. In fact, there is ONE store in Brisbane that carries a total of ONE bra that will actually fit me properly. And it’s $79, and both the straps broke within four months. And the order I made to the internet company that sells my size in bras has been delayed until September. SEPTEMBER. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when they wont let her shop. I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, WHY WONT YOU LET ME SPEND IT RETAILERS.
It is so infuriating, as I need just as much support as the next bra-wearing person. I mean, when I’m powerwalking on the treadmill I want some support. I want clothing that fits properly, and that doesn’t continually shift because i’m not wearing properly fitted undergarments. I am nearly in tears as I write this because all I fucking want is a bra that fits me properly.
I am in the process of writing a very strongly worded letter to Hestia (which supposedly Holds Every Size Tit In Australia), Berlei, Bonds, and any other bra manufacturer I can think of. This letter will ask them why they don’t cater to those who are larger, but with small boobs. Honestly though? I’m way too angrily passionate about this right now to word it coherently. I needed somewhere to gripe, and surely I’m not the only one here who has a large band size but smaller boobs! So if you can leave a comment that commiserates/sympathizes/tells me how to word these letters, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
Silly Dress Ups? Don’t mind if I do!!
Monday, May 17th, 2010
Hey there.. thought I’d share some of my latest silly dress up shenanigans with you..
I do some work as a DJ. “Steampunk DJ Omega” is the name I go by and it allows me to attend all sorts of wierd and wonderful parties I probably wouldn’t go to otherwise. It also gives me an excuse to play some very silly and fun dress-up games..
Three gigs I have done in the last few months, all with dress ups..
First up, the “Pirates of the Yarribean” cruise..
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I used to run an 18th century maritime history themed historical re-enactment group, and we were ALL about the historical accuracy.. this? this has NOTHING to do with that. Pure, ridiculous hollywood pirate here, with the wench-corset and all.
Was a fun night.
Next up.. I DJ’d the afterparty for the Melbourne Zombie Shuffle.. it’s an excuse for thousands of people (there were 6K people there this year!) to dress up like zombies and shamble through the city for no good reason other than it’s fun to dress up like a zombie and shamble through the city..
I didn’t want to be a lame “looks like beetlejuice” kind of zombie, so I went all out with the latex and the fake blood, trying to create a horrifying oozy face wound. From the horrified exclamations of those around me I can only assume I succeeded in this mission. Check it out:
[img_assist|nid=175|title=|desc=|link=none|align=right|width=453|height=604]I sent this picture in a text message to my parents, along with a note saying “Hey! Check out my zombie makeup! Braaaaains!!”
I thought they’d get a laugh out of it – but instead I got a phone call from a very worried father and mother saying they thought I had been in some sort of horrific car accident.
I did ask them why on earth they thought if I HAD been in a car accident I would A) take a picture of my facial injuries and B) text it to them.. they didn’t have an explanation but they were very glad that I was okay.
This party was lots of fun, Due to an unreliable sound guy (is there any other kind? Mostly, no.) I was DJ’ing from behind the bar for a while.. having plugged my equipment into the PA system of the venue, there being no other speakers available.. I could see everyone coming up to the bar, but they couldn’t see me.
There were a group of SUPER annoying girls there though. They were all very thin, with lots of hair extentions and orange skin from spray tans.. they were jostling each other and saying (you can imagine your own bogan/valley girl accent here) “Get out of my way you fat bitch! You’re obese!” “No, YOU’RE Obese!” “No, you are!” as they pinched one another, giggling all the while..
They were all very, very thin. I emerged from the corner of the bar to check the sound levels and they all froze.. in horror.. I smiled.
Now I admit the makeup IS pretty scary, but I don’t think that’s ALL they were horrified at.
Later they were saying to me “You’re the DJ?!!!” totally unbelieving. Yes, ladies, I am.
Last but not least, I was very pleased to be the DJ for STEAMPUMP!, a steampunk themed party held at the Donkey Wheell House. I went all out for this one..
[img_assist|nid=176|title=|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=481|height=720]I like how this turned out. Of course I made the mistake of leaving the venue to grab some snacks right as the football crowd was pouring out of Southern Cross Station (big city train station).
When you dare to go out into the streets while being FAT, you get heckled sometimes. When you dare to go out dressed totally crazy, well.. yeah.
A group of football hoons had a loud conversation behind me. One said “Look! Its a stripper!” another replied “Nah, she is too fat.. she looks like.. A NAZI!!!”
A Nazi Stripper. Oooo-kay.
I turned around, waved at them, laughed, and kept going..
The night went very well, everyone liked what I played.
And no “mean girls” or footy crowd hecklers are going to stop me dressing up silly and having fun 
Now Get Excited And Make Things: Sewing fat?
Monday, January 11th, 2010
It has been awhile, but I’m finally back! Actually, I have not really been away – just insanely busy at work and busy socially and, well, a wee bit lazy. OMG FAT STEREOTYPE.
Anyway! My wonderful parents asked me earlier in the year what I’d like for Christmas, and I replied, “A sewing machine!”
I have fond memories of being poked and prodded with pins and measuring tapes for most my childhood. My mother is an excellent seamstress, and the bulk of my clothes except for my socks, school uniforms, and some special occasion gear, were made for me until I was about eight or so. My mother made my senior formal outfit (that’s prom, for the non-Australians), medieval costumes when I was at university, the works.
Now, I wanted to be able to alter my own clothes, and begin making my own too. First I learned how to do the basics – thread the machine, fill a bobbin, and sew straight and zigzag stitches. Although I’ve never sewn before, I’ve spent years around my mother and her machine, so it wasn’t too hard. So I asked my mum to help me make a breezy summer top. This is what we did:
Made a rough mock-up using one of my tank-tops and an old bedsheet, fitted the mock up, made a pattern out of newspaper, and cut the pieces – one centre back and two centre front pieces. After putting those together at the shoulder seam and sewing the darts, we decided that it needed facings, so cut out armhole and neckline facings, ironed on interfacing paper and added that. Then mum got the bright idea that we should understitch the facings.
It pulls a little oddly on the left shoulder, but given that we drafted the pattern mostly from scratch, I wasn’t expecting a perfect fit. I’m slip-stitching all the facings down at the moment (neck done, one and a half armholes to go!), but other than that it’s finished
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Apologies for the cruddy webcam headless fatty shots, but my camera was not playing nice this evening with the self-timer for some reason. Also it is wrinkled, because I had it crushed in my lap while I sewed the facings down and watched The West Wing (which is an awesome show for sewing to, by the by).
I feel inordinately proud myself, and really inspired! However, it’s clear that I need a lot more general sewing experience before I get to the stage that I want to be, which is to be able to draft my own patterns from scratch. Going by measurements, I am right at the top of the plus-size spectrum in commercial patterns, and I want to have the skill to make what I want, when I want it!
I got rather excited when I saw these two patterns from Simplicity, as I can fit (just) the 28W, and I absolutely adore 1940s vintage stylin’! I was disappointed to discover that these seemed to be limited to the US as well, though! Isn’t that just awesome – not only is the range of ready-to-wear clothing in Australia shitty, but patterns are equally difficult to find. :/ I’m in love with some of the Burda patterns I’ve found too, but of course their online store doesn’t ship to Australia. I know Burda is commercially available here; I just hope there’s a similarly awesome plus pattern availability.
There’s a happy ending though – I found both Simplicity patterns on eBay from a seller who ships worldwide, AND it was cheaper! I can’t wait to try them out, though I’ll probably start with the skirt, as it looks the least difficult. My goal is to channel Katharine Hepburn and make a fabulous pair of high-waisted, wide-legged pants. First step is to buy some calico or muslin, as I’m far from proportionate, so there’ll be adjustments, no doubt.
So tell me! Do you sew? What are some of your favourite patterns, tips and tricks? What do you find most difficult when adjusting for fatness?
(BONUS PHOTO: I had my hair dyed blonde at the beginning of December. EXCITING! I won’t apologise for this being a webcam shot, it’s from my dailybooth stream)
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Amber Riley in City Chic
Monday, November 30th, 2009
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Fresh out of my inbox, City Chic are bragging about Amber Riley of Glee wearing their clothes. City Chic is one of the only youthful plus size fashion labels in Australia, and while many of us groan about the prices and the quality, I’ve discovered that a lot of American fatshionistas can’t get enough of the brand, including the fantastic Ms. Riley!
I’ve got to say, I love the dress she’s wearing in this photograph. City Chic have brought in a lot of florals this season and when I went to the Chermside store last week I was quite impressed with the range. The sizing is still all over the place unfortunately, and that’s a shame because I was almost about to drop some money on some dresses but I held back because of fit issues that couldn’t be solved by switching down a size. (For the record, the only fit issue I usually have is with pant length!)
Just for a second, can I gripe about City Chic’s usage of social media for marketing? They invite us to become friends on facebook, but their page is an actual personal profile instead of a “Page” which means I have to wait until they approve me as a friend before I can see extra info they’ve put on their profile. I was hoping to grab some photos of Amber Riley to pimp in this entry, but I can’t find any except for the tiny ones used in the email blast.
So uh, City Chic – I’m a fashion forward fatshionista who knows how to use social media. We should talk. But in the meanwhile, give bloggers some material so they can give you [free] press! I’ve been wearing the label since you started (oh, remember Big City Chic!?) and a lot of Australian bloggers, despite being critical, will probably be more than happy to give a homegrown brand a leg up.
Apparently it’s Cyber Monday in the US today, a thing I had never even heard about before Shop Translated approached us for the giveaway (enter here!) I wonder if Australian online retailers will jump on the November sales bandwagon in years to come?
Cyber Monday
Friday, November 27th, 2009
Recently, Axis of Fat was contacted by Cortney, from Shop Translated. She has generously offered Axis readers a discount (and a great deal of clothing is already on sale! So that’s like, double plus discount!) of 25% when they enter the code: axisoffat25 from December 1st.
She has also offered readers the chance to win two items of clothing of their choice in their size from the range (excluding the New Arrivals – INES products). So leave a comment telling us why you think you should win. Competition closes 14th December.
Consumers assemble! Aaaaaaand go!
Errr, from the 1st of December that is.
Competition Details
Leave a comment telling why you think you should win. The best comment will be chosen by the administrators of Axis of Fat to win two items of clothing from the Shop Translated store. Does not include their “New Arrivals – INES products”.
Comments must be left on this post to be eligible to win.
Entries close at 11:59pm AEST (13:59pm UTC) on 14th December. Judges decision is final.
GOOD LUCK!
Swim time!
Sunday, November 1st, 2009
Yesterday, myself, Zoe, Natalie, Nick and various others went on a boat for Nick’s birthday celebrations. It was a lovely day, filled with swimming in slightly sludgy, salty water, a bbq, alcohol and dramas involving us scrambling back onto the boat after jumping off.
This day? Required swim wear.
Swim wear? Can be hard to find when you’re fat.
Ok, that’s probably a little bit of a lie. Cute swim wear, can be hard to find if you’re fat. There’s plenty of garishly printed swim skirts and black one pieces to be found if that’s what you’re in to.
So where did we find our cute swim wear?
For me, it was Kmart. A black and white polka dotted faux tankini with ruching and ties down the side. For Zoe it was Seafolly, a very cute bright blue, black and white printed one piece. Natalie, where was yours from? It was adorable! A zebra striped one piece in leopard print colours. A very confused animal, to be sure.
Target is usually my best choice for swim wear in all sizes. Kmart can be pretty decent too. Seafolly has certain brands that go up to G cups (very very rare though) and up to a size … 20, I think. For larger sizes, I think places like Big Girls Don’t Cry and All About Eve have some decent (if very pricy) swimwear. I know Myer and DJs also have plus sized swim wear (not usually all that cute though). Nick, places like, ugh Lowes, I guess are best for board shorts?
I’m still on the hunt for a leopard print one piece. Torrid had a really cute one, but there’s none left in my size now. Unique Vintage also had one, but it’s a little too expensive for me right now.
Know somewhere where I can get one? Or just another cute pair in general? Let me know!
How to get hair like Rosie…
Friday, October 30th, 2009
Okay, you asked for it and here it is… how I did that fun hairdo…
These are the most useful tutorials I found..
If you have longer hair:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lWtV4OPu_I
And if you have shorter hair…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXZOv9dBptA
Hope that helps! 
(Sorry about the links, they didn’t seem to want to embed for me :S)
(Admin: Fixed the embed for you)
