It has been awhile, but I'm finally back!  Actually, I have not really been away - just insanely busy at work and busy socially and, well, a wee bit lazy.  OMG FAT STEREOTYPE.

Anyway!  My wonderful parents asked me earlier in the year what I'd like for Christmas, and I replied, "A sewing machine!"

I have fond memories of being poked and prodded with pins and measuring tapes for most my childhood.  My mother is an excellent seamstress, and the bulk of my clothes except for my socks, school uniforms, and some special occasion gear, were made for me until I was about eight or so.  My mother made my senior formal outfit (that's prom, for the non-Australians), medieval costumes when I was at university, the works.

Now, I wanted to be able to alter my own clothes, and begin making my own too.  First I learned how to do the basics - thread the machine, fill a bobbin, and sew straight and zigzag stitches.  Although I've never sewn before, I've spent years around my mother and her machine, so it wasn't too hard.  So I asked my mum to help me make a breezy summer top.  This is what we did:

Made a rough mock-up using one of my tank-tops and an old bedsheet, fitted the mock up, made a pattern out of newspaper, and cut the pieces - one centre back and two centre front pieces. After putting those together at the shoulder seam and sewing the darts, we decided that it needed facings, so cut out armhole and neckline facings, ironed on interfacing paper and added that. Then mum got the bright idea that we should understitch the facings.

It pulls a little oddly on the left shoulder, but given that we drafted the pattern mostly from scratch, I wasn't expecting a perfect fit.  I'm slip-stitching all the facings down at the moment (neck done, one and a half armholes to go!), but other than that it's finished

 

Apologies for the cruddy webcam headless fatty shots, but my camera was not playing nice this evening with the self-timer for some reason.  Also it is wrinkled, because I had it crushed in my lap while I sewed the facings down and watched The West Wing (which is an awesome show for sewing to, by the by).

I feel inordinately proud myself, and really inspired!  However, it's clear that I need a lot more general sewing experience before I get to the stage that I want to be, which is to be able to draft my own patterns from scratch.  Going by measurements, I am right at the top of the plus-size spectrum in commercial patterns, and I want to have the skill to make what I want, when I want it!

I got rather excited when I saw these two patterns from Simplicity, as I can fit (just) the 28W, and I absolutely adore 1940s vintage stylin'!  I was disappointed to discover that these seemed to be limited to the US as well, though!  Isn't that just awesome - not only is the range of ready-to-wear clothing in Australia shitty, but patterns are equally difficult to find. :/  I'm in love with some of the Burda patterns I've found too, but of course their online store doesn't ship to Australia.  I know Burda is commercially available here; I just hope there's a similarly awesome plus pattern availability.

There's a happy ending though - I found both Simplicity patterns on eBay from a seller who ships worldwide, AND it was cheaper!  I can't wait to try them out, though I'll probably start with the skirt, as it looks the least difficult.  My goal is to channel Katharine Hepburn and make a fabulous pair of high-waisted, wide-legged pants.  First step is to buy some calico or muslin, as I'm far from proportionate, so there'll be adjustments, no doubt.

So tell me!  Do you sew?  What are some of your favourite patterns, tips and tricks?  What do you find most difficult when adjusting for fatness?

 

(BONUS PHOTO:  I had my hair dyed blonde at the beginning of December.  EXCITING!  I won't apologise for this being a webcam shot, it's from my dailybooth stream)

 

 

 

it's Bandanna Day so of course I take the opportunity to play dress ups!

Of course when most people think of bandanas they think of this..



But I was going for something a bit more..



How'd I do?



of course Melodie got in on the act too..

Oh, and the  dress I am wearing...

I found it yesterday in an op shop for $8. Bargain! The rest of the outfit is red fishnets and cute brogues.

I feel quite snazzy, and I do think the whole ensemble is rather wasted on work.

 

So you might remember that Today Tonight did a story last night on fat fashion within Australia, featuring an interview with moi! Well someone has kindly uploaded the video to youtube, so here I am in all my television glory.

By the way, it's actually not all about me. They also talk to Fashion Hayley as well.

ETA: The youtube video was removed. Once I can get another version I'll add it back in. ETA ETA: Finally found one!

Here's a neat trick... If like me, you have big boobs and arms with a smaller waist, then you probably have the same issue I often do with store-bought shirts & blouses.. if you get the size that fits your arms/bust, then it is often too large around the waist..

The clever cluck over at Angry Chicken has put up a neat tutorial that shows how you can pop a bit of elastic in the back to get your waist back. Good stuff!

Hmm.. seems like the embed code isn't working for everyone. Here's a link to the tutorial.

I was talking to someone this evening about men's fashion and questions came up about what would I want if I could have anything. I wasn't really sure to be honest but I came up with a few things that I could think of off the top of my head.

Give Natalie an idea and she'll run with it. In a few minutes flat, she sent me a number of links to sites on men's fashion. Let me be honest here - I am no fashionista. I'm a humble man simply trying to get through life being as fancy as he can be.

One of the links she sent me was to a Modus Couture blog post with a couple of pics of a hot, bearded man dressed up and ready to go!

Corpus Spring Summer 09

That man is stylin'. It's a shame that I haven't been able to find pictures of the whole collection to link to. Shame Corpus, shame. I'm kinda going off track here.

I thought to myself that perhaps I could look for similar clothing in larger sizes available in Australia. How hard would it be? Actually, pretty bloody hard.

This is the selection of trousers for one major online 'big guy' clothing store.

Selection of Casual Trousers - Big Chaps Mensware

Sorry what? That isn't a selection. Jeans, a flexi waist trouser, denim trouser and a jean pant? Do you want me to look like I've stepped out of my Dad's wardrobe again? It's like you expect me to walk around in a pair of Stubbies and a Hawaiian shirt during the day, and then upgrade to 'Jean Pant' at night for some sophistication. Pah-lease.

Natalie found this other awesome look as well, from the Blackbird Blog. Smart musician dude carrying smart musician style bag with skinny tie, geeking it to the max glasses, and the jeans.

Schoolboy Style with Lad Musician

At least I know where to get the jeans from.

This is all I want:

• Clothes that fit me and fit me well
• Good quality fabrics that last and wear well
• Styles that make sense to me today, not me in twenty years time or twenty years ago
• I want to be able to look fancy without having to spend a FORTUNE

Give this man some good clothes so I can look as good as I feel about myself!

I am generally an advocate of saving up and dropping decent amounts of cash on quality clothing that will ultimately last, provided that you care for it well. For anyone who follows my Twitter, a fortnight or so ago I tweeted “I get a smug sense of satisfaction when I handwash my clothes. Look! I am prolonging the life of my garments! *SMUG*”. If you have the time, learn to love the handwash.

Anyway, I digress. As much as I love buying gorgeous, high-quality fashion, when it comes to seasonal trends, I'm perfectly happy to buy and cheap and cheerful garments. The best example I have of this recently is harem pants. I know, I know, we called them hammer pants or (ew) poocatchers for a reason, but hear me out! I have two pairs of harem pants, from Dorothy Perkins and – shock horror – Best and Less. Big W also have a pair that I have my eye on.

These are the Dotty P ones:

 

 

Tee: Uniqlo (JP)

Jacket: Nissen (JP)

Harem pants: Dorothy Perkins

Sandals: Birkenstock by Papillio

Necklace: Gift

Sour face: Courtesy of my job, I suspect

 

And these are the Best and Less harem pants:

Tee: Threadless (this is what a girly 2XL looks like on an AU18-20)

Harem pants: Best and Less

Shoes: Melissa

Wrist cuff: Gift

Sunglasses: Christian Dior

Both pairs are pretty different – the Dotty P pants come to a point just below the hip, which causes the drape to the tapered ankle. (I suspect these are actually supposed to hit mid-calf, but that's the joy of being short). The ones from Best and Less, on the other hand, are pleated all around the waistband, and fall to fitted cuff mid-calf. So there's harem pants and harem pants, it's just a matter of finding the pair that work for you. I'm fortunate enough to be able to work in a very casual office, so I often wear mine with a Threadless tee and my Birkenstocks, but you can dress them up or down however you please! I recommend with choosing a fitted or tight top, to balance the volume of the harem pants. That said, I'm itching to try them with a baggy men's shirt and this grey deconstructed vest I have – I shall report back to see if it works.

As a general guide, in my experience, the suburban versions of Big W, Best and Less and Kmart tend to have the best range of trendy clothing in plus-sizes. Big W also gets big props for having several straight-sized pieces reproduced in plus versions. Best and Less currently have wet-look leggings available in plus (!), and Kmart has a very cute retro-esque faux-tankini which I believe Sonya has purchased.

I don't advocate getting all your clothing from these kinds of stores – the quality tends to be fair to middling, and there's a lot of polyester. They still tend to make work pants cropped just above the ankle, an absolute pet hate of mine, and there are still plenty of fuggo graphic prints around. But all in all, for cheap, cheerful, trendy clothes, you really can't go past Big W, Best and Less, and Kmart.

 

I'm in a sassy mood today, and I've been looking at online plus-size fashion retailers while trying to help a friend find a dress to wear to a wedding. It's SO frustrating!  Even though the plus-size fashion market has improved, I still see a lot of things that bother me  - the most of all being that some labels and manufacturers only consider fit models with a certain body type and don't pay a thought to those of us who do not have a "classic hourglass shape". In the spirit of snark and temper tantrums, I bring you "Things I hate about plus-size fashion"!

Fake necklaces

Fat women are not too lazy to put their own accessories on. This is insulting. Also, the chain is typically full of nickel, which I have an allergy to. It's gross and insulting, way to go!

Short dresses

Sure, tiny hemlines are progressive, if you slept through the 60s. However, some of us prefer to wear more modest hemlines when we have certain social engagements. Too many retailers are chopping off skirts on otherwise beautiful garments and still charging the same amount.

Tops with bandeau hems or gathered waists

I have a big tummy, there is no way I want to be wrestling with elastic or a thick waist/ hip band all day. There are only two ways these styles work on me - they either slide up to sit under my boobs or down to sit on my thighs. FAIL.

Necklines that ignore my boobs.

This is a double pronged attack - I hate necklines that are too low, and too high. There are LOADS of styles of tops and dresses that incorporate my most hated thing - the cross-over bust. It's a cheap and nasty manufacturing ploy, because the pattern doesn't need to be drafted as much to fit the bust through shaping and darts. It means that the neckline basically sits below the bust and shows off miles of your bra if you have larger breasts. Necklines that are too high also bother me. Do I not have a chest? Someone needs to find the Goldilocks solution to this problem so they can have all of my money.

Giant graphic print tops

I have seen so many different abominable prints on plus size clothing ranging from news print to butterflies to "empowering" words. Gross. Get it away from me.

Bedazzled jeans

I want to wear plain denim jeans, maybe with a rivet in each corner of the pocket. That's all. I do not want you to harass my jeans with a bedazzler, sequins, glittery embroidery or your label's name across my glorious arse.

All of this

Diagonal lines, awful massive prints, sheer fabrics, etc. In the words of my friend "I really despair at TS (Australian label TS14+)". In the words of me, "It looks like a shitty graphic designer vomited all over her". Even their cardigans are wonky. It's insanity.

Obviously, we all have our own list of things we'd prefer not to ever wear - and I'm fairly certain a few people will actually like the garments that bother me so much! What are your fashion hates?

MinkPink Tunic

As a fat person, numbers have ruled me for a significant portion of my life.  The number on the scale, the number on my blood-pressure readings, the number of slices of cake I can eat... the list goes on.

The number that often has the most power, not just for fat women but for women of all sizes, though, is the number (or letter) on the tags of your clothing.

You are not going to die if you have to wear an XXL instead of an XL, or a 14 instead of a 12.

These little numbers can buoy us up to great heights, or pull us down into the deepest pits of despair - if you let them.  When I was in highschool and at the height of my food restriction, I managed to shoehorn myself into a pair of size 13 jeans.  It was possibly one of the greatest moments of my life.  Conversely, a year or two later when I went into Portmans and couldn't zip up a size 16 skirt, I was devastated for over a week.

I am not defined by numbers - and neither are you.  Don't be afraid to tell people what you weigh or what size you are (usually).  I'll put my money where my mouth is: I weigh 106 kilograms, and wear Australian sizes 18-22 (usually - my closet has items from a 14 to a 22). 

See size tags for what they are: completely and utterly arbitrary.  In this photograph, I'm wearing one of my newest favourite tunics, by Sydney label MinkPink.  It's a size 14.  I haven't been a size 14 in many years, so don't let tags deceive you.  Try things on - judge by how the garment looks, not the tag number.  Size up or down as the fit requires.  If you can't, due to a narrow size range, let it go.  Don't buy it and attempt to berate yourself into losing weight to wear it.  That never ends well.

Numbers are just that - numbers.  They are not a measure of your worth as a person. 

 

For the curious: tunic is by MinkPink via 360 Degrees in West End, size 14, tights are by We Love Colors and are a size C-D, shoes are by Miu Miu via Jean Brown and are a 40 1/2.  Guitar sneakily borrowed from my roommate.

When I got married I was a fat bride. In fact, I was fat when I got engaged - I was even *gasp* fat when Nick and I met! Despite having a well established, recognised and loved body shape before getting married I copped a huge amount of pressure to lose weight in the lead up to the wedding. For some reason, I had it in my head that my wedding day would be a celebration of love and happiness between Nick and I however it seemed that foolish me had little idea of the true wedding agenda - basically some kind of reality tv show where the ugly duckling turns gorgeous siren.

 

There would be no end of helpful clicks and tuts on hand to whip me into shape (I maintain that rectangular with bumps is a shape, dammit) for my reveal, wait, wedding day. My hairdresser at the time barely let her congratulations fly past her lips before she’d cornered me and asked how much weight I was losing. She lost the job. Bridal stores have ALL KINDS of euphemisms for asking about your weight loss plans. My favourite was the ever so polite “Now, are we planning on losing or gaining any weight for the big day?” Not to mention the hushed murmurings of “big girl”, “solid build”, “flattering” and “voluptuous”. You know what? I walked out of all of those places. I wanted a bunch of supportive people helping me look even more fancy on my wedding day, not a wake of frowny-faced vultures picking over the fat girl.

I wanted to share a few things that helped me survive as a fat bride, because if you’re not used to speaking up it really can be intimidating and upsetting. I had a crystalline vision of how I wanted to look on my wedding day and I wasn’t ashamed of my body, nor did I have plans to change it consciously before the date. Being somewhat blunt and quite confident, I had few real issues with the barrage of concerned but unhelpful people who just wanted me to look fabulous when I got married. I understood that they were coming from a mindset held by most brides, a world where a slimmer bride must be the more beautiful bride, but I was not convinced of that - as I suppose most of the Axis of Fat readership is!

1. Come out as fat to all of the people involved in your wedding party.

   Lay down some ground rules when it comes to your body - i.e.: it’s none of your business. I also told my bridesmaids that I would not entertain negative body talk during the fittings. If they waited until I was out of the room, that was fine but I didn’t want dress fittings to be railroaded by unproductive and negative discussion!

2. Look at some real life weddings.

   Offbeat Bride is still one of my favourite wedding sites because there are so many different bodies all happy, celebrating and looking great! Glossy magazines are fine, but if you don’t want to have a traditional western wedding you’ll be left feeling empty! There are heaps of wedding blogs out there to help you with ideas for garments, decorations, themes and locations.

3. Talk about your ideas with your wedding party.

   This is especially important when it comes to garments. Different bodies like to wear different things!

4. Bridal stores generally carry two sizes in “try on” dresses - 10 and 18.

   I think I only went to one store, where I definitely did not fit in the 18. I figured that if they were going to assume that they could just grade a smaller sized pattern up to “fit” me, then they could go jump.

5. Investigate a dressmaker.

   This is what I did - my mother and I asked an assistant at a  local fabric shop for her recommendations and she gave us the phone number of the amazing Gloria, a couture seamstress and pattern designer. Gloria only took petite and plus sized clients, and had incredible pattern drafting skills which she used to outfit women who didn’t fit within mainstream sizing. Instant brownie points! Working with Gloria was a great experience - I had designed my dress but with her guidance we made it epic! We also designed the bridesmaid dresses in such a way that the design would be adapted for each of the girls’ personalised slopers (a sloper is like a basic pattern created to fit your measurements). I wanted my sisters and my friend to feel special on the day, with a gorgeous dress that they felt great in.

6. If a vendor bothers you about losing weight, drop them.

   If you feel up to it, you can always say something like “I’m not planning on losing weight for my wedding”. You don’t need to  sass them back, or come back with a quip that will make them regret ever saying anything to you. You don’t have time for that, and you’ll feel rotten afterwards. Focus on your main goal - getting this theatrical monster of a wedding on the road.

7. Listen to people, but don’t forget that you are the authority on your body.

   Plenty of bridal (and plain old everyday fashion) assistants have plenty of things to say on what’s “flattering” or “suitable”. There seems to be a metric buttload of rules and regulations and if you bother following all of them you’ll basically wave goodbye to any sense of individuality. If you really want to wear a dress that’s cut a certain way, ask the assistant or the dressmaker if there’s something close if they absolutely veto your first choice (or, dump them). Tell them why you want your neckline just like so. Be assertive and use “I statements” - “I feel confident when I have cap sleeves” or “I feel really gorgeous in a strapless dress”. Push for what you want, or else you’re having someone else’s wedding.

8. Wear comfortable shoes that fit you correctly.

   Most wedding days go on for 12 hours - you don’t want to be wearing unsupportive shoes that make you snarl. Alternatively, take your damn shoes off. I did that, because my gorgeous Italian sling backs kept slipping off! Unfortunately I also stood in dog poo, but uh... what can you do when you can’t see your feet let alone half a metre in front of you?

9. You don’t have to wear the garter belt.

   I really did not want Nick to dig through my skirts and pull a rotten scrunchy off my thigh, only to throw it to his mates. The whole idea grossed me out. What I did was arrange to slip it to him with my magical sleight of hand during the whole garter toss show. I was going to pin it inside my skirt, but I didn’t get a chance! Of course, if you hate this part of the reception  - nix it. You’re not really beholden to anyone to include anything on your wedding day besides the bits required by law during your ceremony!

10. Have fun!

    After months of planning, your wedding day should be when you take the pressure down. If you’ve been true to yourself and your relationship, you should be feeling completely at ease - surrounded by all the people who love you and wish you well.

Do any other fat brides (nay, fat grooms!) have tips? I’d love to read them - post a comment!

 

I can feel a rant coming on.

I have a love-hate relationship with the fashion industry.  I love fashion, you see. Clothing, shoes, handbags, jewellery - I salivate just thinking about it. I grew up reading Vogue, watching trends emerge and then change just as rapidly. We have stacks of books at my place on the history of fashion. My mum and I watch old Hollywood musicals, just so we can talk about the clothing. Well, also to ogle Fred Astaire; he's dreeeeamy. Fashion though? It's something I have grown up with. The idea of wearing something beautifully crafted that enhances my (let's face it) already pretty fabulous body makes me tingle with excitement.  I even recently downloaded an Iphone application that lets me view shots from fashion shows around the world. 

The fashion industry, as most people already know, are notorious for their unrealistic and often unhealthy body image ideals. Eating disorders, size-ism, drug addiction, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. The fat-hatred bombards both ready-to-wear and couture lines, with nearly everything in higher-end stopping at or below size twelve Australian. Oh my god, the RAGE.  Do you know how I feel?  I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when those bitchy saleswomen wouldn't let her shop.  Her kind wasn't welcome, despite having money to spend.  Hey fashion designers?  I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, DAMMIT.  WHY WONT YOU TAKE MY MONEY?!?!  Granted, it's not as much money as I would like, but what I do have, I plan on investing in fashion.  Because it's an investment in myself. Wearing something I love makes me feel UHMAZING, in so many different ways. 

I have a stunning red dress that I spent a very pretty penny on last year, but was happy to do so because the garment looks fantastic on me.  I call it "Magic Dress" because every time I wear it people smile at me, and luck always turns my way. Of course this has nothing to do with the dress itself; I know that.  But when I wear something that fits me properly, something that feels as though it was made for me, my confidence skyrockets.  Unfortunately even when I have the dosh, the pickings are slim here in Australia. (haha, slim.)

 

 

It appears to me fatties aren't welcome in fashion.  We are chunkier versions of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  Our kind?  Not welcome here. Particularly in Australia, it seems fat people aren't seen as fashion forward or daring with their style choices.  All our choices are to hide and cover up and "flatter" our bodies. Australian fashion's definition of flatter is cover up, it seems.  Maude forbid we be proud of our appearance. I mean, isn't it society's problem if they don't like my jiggly bits? Why do I need to change myself??  Why can't I wear what I want to wear? 

Fat women are given potato sacks with asymmetrical everything and newspaper print polyester. Fat men are given Hawaiian shirts that are not only fug, but also terrible quality. If you like asymmetrical polyester hawaiian prints, then hey have at it. But that's all there is.  THAT IS ALL THERE IS FOR US.  If we want to wear something different, our choices are to pay through the nose and have it custom made, or have it shipped from overseas (usually with high shipping prices, and the likelihood that the item may not even fit when it arrives.)

I know so many people who are fabulous and STYLISH fats, despite the severe lack of fashion choices. Each of these men and women have personalities as different as the bajillion designers out there. It is so frustrating to me (and I'm sure them) that there are comparatively few options for fats, given the number of us in the world. I mean, if the obesity epidemic (OOGA BOOGA) is increasing, why aren't our fashion choices? Perhaps it's because there isn't an obesity epidemic - but i digress.

How do we fix this?  Designers say that larger sizes aren't catered to because it costs too much to produce, and/or that there aren't enough sales within the area to financially justify production. I don't know about you, but I buy clothing a LOT.  And I'd be prepared to pay more and buy more if it's good quality and well designed. There just hasn't been anything out there that's nice enough to buy. Believe me, I know, I look nearly every day. And sure I'd like low cost options TOO, but it shouldn't be one or the other, you know? I feel cheated if I purchase accessories from somewhere like Guess or Chanel, when I know full well that plus size clothing at those stores aren't available to me. 

And is it a "Chicken or the Egg" scenario?  Fats don't purchase the fashion out there because the fashion out there is fug, and then businesses think there isn't a market and thus stop producing it. How do we pass on the message that we'd purchase their clothing if they simply made larger versions of the straight sizes, instead of creating clothing especially for fats that mainly consist of tent-clothing. Can someone please get it into retailers and designers heads that fats have just as much style as straight size?  I know the fat-o-sphere  are amazing in terms of expressing their individual styles, but sometimes I want to shake the fashion industry and go "Hey! Fats are people too!" I'd ask whether or not straight size people would ever wear the options we are given. Why are fats relegated the realm of fugitude when everybody else gets to look all shiny and tailored? 

We deserve the right to own clothing that makes us feel awesome. We deserve the right to own the different styles and makes that thinner people get to choose from.  We deserve fashion rights, full stop.