So, my last blog post sparked some interesting reactions..

I'm new to this FA stuff. And new to blogging about it. New to thinking about it, new to talking about it. So it's not suprising, I guess, that I'm constantly suprised at how people react to what I post.

This was a blindside for me, for sure. There's comments floating around telling me I'm not fat *enough*. Fat enough to .. what? Call myself fat? Think of myself that way? Talk about it? Blog about it?

My reaction to this is pretty much the same as the "Oh! you're not fat!" ones. Open-mouthed, gaping, eye-rolling disbelief.

I feel like a kid, banging on the door of a clubhouse. In my head it's a tree house with lots of warnings on the door. Through the gingham-curtained windows you can see all sorts of interesting things.

Omega: *Knock Knock Knock* Hi! Is this the "we're fat and that's okay" club? Can I come in??

WFATOKC: What? You? No way! Get Lost!

Omega: *crestfallen* But.. why?

WFATOKC: You're not fat!!!

Omega: .. huh?

WFATOKC: You're not fat ENOUGH. Sure, you're fat enough to be mocked, excluded and shamed for your size. You're fat enough to be considered obese by a doctor, and be lectured for it. You're fat enough that many people think you're fat. You're fat enough to it to be the first perjorative out of anyone's mouth when they are trying to have a go at you. You're fat enough to shop in plus-size stores. You're fat enough to qualify for Xenical or lap-band surgery, if you wanted them. You're fat enough to be hooted at by morons in cars when you walk down the street. You're fat enough to be stared down the nose at in high-fashion stores and be told snootily "Oh, we have nothing here for YOU." 

....but you're not fat ENOUGH. 

Omega: But.. but..

*door slams in face*

I get that, at size 18, I am on the "smaller" end of fat. I get that people fatter than me have more to deal with. I get that my problems are less in some areas than other people who are fatter than me. I GET THAT.

Some people call those of us in this size range "inbetweenies". And that is what it feels like sometimes. Too thin for the "properly" fat kids... too fat (way, way too fat) for the thin kids.

What's a (maybe not fat enough) fat girl to do?