Tonight on Australian TV I've seen at least five ads for The Biggest Loser. Not for their tv show, but for their weight loss website and weight loss products. Enough! Add onto that the Jenny Craig (for men, mind you), Weight Watchers and other crap that they are pushing towards me and I just want to scream.

Do they have any idea who they are talking to? Oh right, they do.

There are millions of people out there in Australia who are insecure about their bodies. This number comes from the fact that most people I know have some insecurities about their body. Even I do. I just don't run to the nearest weight loss product advertised and spend up big on something that won't work.

Others do. Which is why they put this crap on air to start with.

What I would love to see is a program that discussed healthy eating. Not "You have to stop eating to lose weight, fatty." What I'm talking about is information on the foods that are nourishing. What is there out there that I haven't tried before? Show me different ways of making different things with the foods I already cook with.

If the risotto requires copious amounts of butter and oil, that's fine. Butter and oil is nourishing just as much as fruit and vegetables are. I wouldn't eat a block of butter in a day, but that's because I could think of nothing worse to try and do. Not because I've got some devil mask wearing health freak going "oooh obesity epidemic" telling me what to do.

Don't make people feel shame for being who they are. Let them eat as they please. Educate them on healthy, nourishing food and show them all the different things that are out there to eat.

Food is neither good or bad. It is food. It's not about weight loss. It's about eating in a way that makes you feel good on the inside and look good on the outside. That's possible at 60kg and it's possible at 160kg.

Today I'm going to talk about Health at Every Size and what this means to me. I'm going to mention the word diet a few times along the way. Right now so that there is no confusion, I want you to interpret the word 'diet' as meaning "what someone (or something for that matter) eats" not "the restriction of food intake to try to lose weight". All animals have a diet, like squirrels live on a diet of nuts and berries (or so cartoons taught me). Humans live on a varied diet depending on which region of the world they live in and how plentiful different types of food are (or conversely, what little food is available).

What is Health at Every Size? Wikipedia lists these three components:

1. Self-Acceptance: Affirmation and reinforcement of human beauty and worth irrespective of differences in weight, physical size and shape.
2. Physical Activity: Support for increasing social, pleasure-based movement for enjoyment and enhanced quality of life.
3. Normalized Eating: Support for discarding externally-imposed rules and regimens for eating and attaining a more peaceful relationship with food by relearning to eat in response to physiological hunger and fullness cues.

The first one is what the fat acceptance movement is all about. Learning to become comfortable within your body and accepting who you are RIGHT NOW! Not in three weeks time, or in a couple of years or "when I've lost 10 kilos/pounds/<insert unit of measure here>" but just as you are. I think this is something that we should all be looking to achieve. I'm sure there are skinny people who don't accept themselves either!

The second component is physical activity. It should be activity that you enjoy and that you do to enhance your life, not because someone says you have to do it to be a better person. Many people (me included) enjoy walking or running or jogging or cycling. Some dance and jump about, or play team sports. It's about moving to have fun and enhance your life.

The final component involves diet. Eating food in an intuitive way and trying to determine what works for you. If you feel sick after eating a packet of chips, then you probably need to reconsider that. Does fried food give you the shits (literally)? Then perhaps abstain. Do you come out in a rash when you try and eat a salad? Don't bother!

It isn't "thou shalt eat 1200 calories a day, spread over 6 meals exactly 3 hours apart" like I've seen some at work do. It means eat when your body wants you to or needs you to. Eat what you think your body wants you to, and listen to the outcome. Work out what works for you and what doesn't work.

Due to reflux, I don't have chocolate, coffee, tea, tomatoes, too much oil or fat and some other things. I feel sick if I have them. I might lose weight because I'm not eating these things, but perhaps I'll substitute them with other foods that will mean I maintain my weight. The goal is to eat as much nutrient rich food as my body requires, and it takes time to work out your own body cues.

Something that I feel that the Health at Every Size movement is trying to promote (as well as the fat acceptance movement) is that just because I'm fat doesn't mean I should be treated differently. Therefore when I go to a doctor, the doctor should treat me for my symptoms/illness and not just go "lose weight, fatty". It also means that when you go to your doctor and they suggest a treatment option that doesn't work for you (like weight loss surgery) that you tell them this. 

If the treatment your doctor is suggesting is proven to work for the illness in question, you should consider it carefully and probably latch onto it for all it is worth. I'm not a doctor so I'm not providing medical advice. If doctors provide the same treatment options to you as to a thin person, that's all we can ask for.

I think it is important to remember that everyone is different, so some things will work for you and some won't. Crap happens.

What I don't get is this: a doctor tables treatment options for an illness such as weight loss or a change in diet or move physical activity where the same options would be suggested to others that aren't considered fat. I think sometimes as fat people we get triggered as soon as the "weight loss" flag is waved. Perhaps the issue is the "weight loss" tag has a stigma.

I guess my point is that sometimes when you are unwell, your doctor is going to say "you need to change what you are eating' or "you need to get some more physical activity" in order to get better. As long as it isn't "ok, so since you are fat you are sick" but "you are sick and the best treatment options are...", I have no issue with that.

The fat acceptance movement is not the Heath at Every Size movement. Many people who consider themselves part of the fat acceptance movement do not subscribe to the three components I've outlined above. The common ground we share is that first one; accepting yourself as you are.

Anyway, that's probably quite enough for now. I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on the issue.

So you might remember that Today Tonight did a story last night on fat fashion within Australia, featuring an interview with moi! Well someone has kindly uploaded the video to youtube, so here I am in all my television glory.

By the way, it's actually not all about me. They also talk to Fashion Hayley as well.

ETA: The youtube video was removed. Once I can get another version I'll add it back in. ETA ETA: Finally found one!

Hi guys,

I thought you all might like to know that I'll be appearing tomorrow night on the Australian current affairs program Today Tonight. If you aren't in Australia, I'm hoping to be able to link/embed a copy of the story once it has gone to air.

Otherwise, tune in at 6:30pm tomorrow night and check it out. I'd love to tell you more about the story, but I'm sworn to secrecy. Lets just say that I wouldn't post it on this blog if it didn't have something to do with the blog theme. ;)

Today has been a really interesting day. If you are reading this post, you probably have seen my post from yesterday where I posted the story of a lady who had gone through weight loss surgery. You've also probably decided to continue reading this blog. Good for you.

I'd like to give you the balls and all story of Nicholas Perkins, at least as it relates to my weight issues, how I came upon Fat Acceptance and HAES, and why I blog on here. Perhaps it will give you an idea of why I come here and post stuff, including yesterdays post which caused so much controversy.

I'm a fat man, which probably isn't surprising as why would a skinny bloke be on here blogging about Fat Acceptance and trying to find clothes that fit. I've been fat ever since I can remember, probably even back to being four. I remember a story Mum used to tell of me falling over in the main street of the town I grew up in one day and skinning my knee. I was crying like any four year old would. My mum couldn't pick me up and carry me to the chemist to get a bandaid. She told me to get up and walk because "I can't carry you - you're too heavy."

Throughout my life I was picked on as the fat kid. All of my friends from when I were young would tease me. It's what little kids do and I can look back on it now with rose coloured glasses in some cases. They all know better now. There are some that hurt me way too much that I would never forgive though.

Being picked on at school because I was too slow to run away was fun. Having rubbish bins dumped on my head and being kicked in the nuts was fun. Being taken to the principal's office and getting sent home from school because I retaliated against such attacks is fun.

My mother tried to help me lose weight. She was doing what she thought was right, but really it ingrained in me a deep sense of guilt. It was all my fault that I was fat, and I had to do something about it. She didn't say it, but it sounded like it. When I move out of home, she bought me a Dr Phil book about taking control of your weight. I'm sure it's still in the bookshelf for the day that I might need it.

I met the woman of my dreams and married her last year. She is fat, just like I am. She struggled with this when I first met her and she still does today, just like I do. She trumped over the evil crap that society puts onto you by having a fat and proud wedding and she looked very f*cking fancy. You'll have seen the pictures on a previous post.

My wedding day for me was awesome but it was mixed with a private shame. I was fat and I was ashamed of making my wife look so bad. Why didn't I try harder to lose some weight? Why didn't I exercise more and do the right things so that I would look my best on my wedding day?

My wife discovered the idea of Health at Every Size and Fat Acceptance in the last year or two. Slowly over time she spoke to me about the things she was finding, and she got the Kate Harding book "Lesson's from the Fat-O-Sphere". The change in her over time was amazing as she grew more confident within herself and more accepting of who she was - fat.

She started to talk to me about these sorts of issues too and when I would get down on myself about my weight, she would tell me to stop it and think of it differently. Think about being healthy no matter how heavy you are. I started reading more into it, including blog posts and videos that she did. Eventually she talked about forming the Axis Of Fat with her friends, and I said I wanted in.

Why? Simple.

I wanted to belong to a group where being fat was ok. I am who I am and I love me just as much as a skinny person is allowed to love themselves. I could come on here and write about how I was feeling coming to terms with being fat and proud and trying to live a life which is healthy and still fat loving. It's hard, and I struggle every day with the deamons of "you aren't perfect; you are fat." To that I say "Bullshit".

I'm not an expert on Fat Acceptance. I'm here to learn. I'm here to say what I want to say and to get feedback in return. There is little point attacking me because it does me no good. Point me in the right direction instead. Give me some good material to read. Convey your arguments in such a tone that I want to read and understand your view.

Feel free to say "I'm offended, because.... You should read this, this and this as it will help you to understand my point of view" and I will. I posted my previous post on weight loss surgery because I took away this simple message.

It doesn't matter whether you lose weight or not. It doesn't matter what you do, who you are, what your background is. You need to learn to love yourself. Doreen has had surgery and is still learning to love herself. It didn't fix that. Going on a diet and losing weight will not make you love yourself. Skinny people don't all love themselves either.

Learn to love yourself and those around you. We are all at different places in our journey. I don't claim to be a font of knowledge or a leader in Fat Acceptance. I claim to be but one man in a sea of fatties trying to have his voice heard, not shouted down.

WARNING: SOME PEOPLE HAVE FOUND THIS TRIGGERING

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The media have recently been looking at weight loss surgery, including lap banding and gastric bypass, as the solution to the "obesity epidemic". Since I've never had weight loss surgery, or met anyone who has, I put a call out on Twitter looking for people to tell me their story, either good, bad or indifferent. One person answered the call.

Doreen from San Diego, California had gastric bypass surgery seven months ago. I asked her some questions regarding her experience with weight loss surgery. I thought her answers so so well written that I should just let you read them as she wrote them. So without further ado...

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What prompted you to consider weight loss surgery? (e.g. doctor's advice, friends and family, something you saw in the media)

To fully explain why I made my decision I need to tell you a little bit about myself.I grew up in a large family. My maternal grandparents had 10 children and by the time I was born most of them had kids so I was one of over 30 grandchildren. Of all of them I was the only fat kid. The rest of my cousins are all willowy and small whereas I somehow inherited the bulk of my Father's genes. His family lives on the other side of the country so they weren't a big influence in my life at the time. The only fat people I knew growing up were one of my aunts and the older ladies at our church.

Through the magic of a young mind & too many Disney movies I basically believed that I was destined to be my family's ugly duckling. One day I would wake up thin & lovely like my siblings and then my real life would begin. As such I lived my life waiting for that magic day. I wore shorts with elastic waists in horrible colors & shirts with puppies, kittens & teddy bears from the Kmart plus section. It didn't matter what I wore because nobody was looking at me anyway.

Cut to high school, my parents have divorced & I finally start to wake up & come into my own. It has to be the result of many converging factors. Years of well-meaning relatives giving me diet books and workout supplies; trying to live on cabbage soup & pepper; my Mom getting a Lane Bryant credit account so that I could get semi-stylish clothes that fit me & my new friend, Candis. Candis came from a family of fat women. She, her Mom & her 2 sisters acted more like roommates than mother & daughters and more importantly the were all fat & all unique. I would love to say that my friends were years ahead of the times and had accepted themselves & loved their bodies but it's not true. They were just women who had tried everything and were still fat. They were resigned to it. It had never occurred to me to be okay with being fat before. It was mind boggling.

I slowly began decide that I was okay. I was smart, pretty and well-spoken. I began to dress well, speak my mind & was even the Co-Editor-in-Chief of my High School yearbook. Still I was by far the fattest person in my social circles. It's like I was thinking, "It's okay to be fat but not this fat." I would still try to exercise & would start a new diet every few weeks but it was always with a resigned sense of impending failure.

I started seriously considering a gastric bypass after I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. I started falling asleep at my computer, at work, even in my car in traffic. It was pretty scary for while. I thought I was Narcoleptic. I redoubled my efforts to exercise and eat well. I bought a treadmill & join Nutrisystem but a year later nothing had changed. I was being to lose hope so I went to seminar about Gastric Bypass. I went by myself and didn't tell anybody. I debated with myself for almost a year before I sent back the paperwork to start the approval process. I was 3 months into my required 6-month, medically-supervised diet when I told my family & friends what I had decided to do.

Ironically it was while researching gastric bypass online that lead me to the Size Acceptance community. At this point I had completed all the steps to get approval from my insurance company & I was just waiting for a surgery date. I briefly considered stopping the whole process but I had come so far & I was afraid that I might not get another chance. I've done a lot of research and I believe I was as well-prepared as possible. I believe I went into the process with a realist expectation and I am happy with the overall results.

I was also afraid that the other people in the Size Acceptance movement would see me as hypocrite so I spent many months just lurking around the websites. I finally got up the nerve to join in the community and found everybody to be wonderful but I haven't come out and told everybody that I've had surgery so this may change some of that for me.


What expectations did you have of the surgery?

I tried very hard not to have unrealistic expectations but I have to admit that the "ugly duckling" ideal has still cropper up a few times. A part of me still expects to find the perfect dress to wear to that conveniently timed gala event where everybody I've ever know will see how fabulous I look.

I feel I should confess that since my surgery I have starting taking an antidepressant. I think that I've always been mildly depressed(obesity & depression are a bit of a chicken or the egg situation in my mind) but I think the fact that I KNEW that having the surgery wouldn't make my life all sunshine & roses and then, the fact that it didn't caused me to spiral into a depression shows just how pervasive these ideas can be.

For the most part I got exactly what I expected. A few weeks of living on mainly chicken broth & creamy soups followed by cottage cheese & eggs. I lost a lot of weight very quickly & was able to start doing more exercise. I am surprised at how much more I enjoy the exercise, especially since hearing a skinny girl talk about how much she loves her aerobics class usually makes me want to claw her eyes out.


Did you feel it would be THE solution to your weight issues or something that would work combined with other changes?

I do feel that this was THE solution for me. I know that the reason I ended up as heavy as I did was because of my eating habits & my sedentary life. Don't get me wrong, as I said above I got my Dad's genes so I was built to be a big girl but wasn't genetics alone. I was binge eater. When I was stressed, sad or even just bored I would eat massive amounts of food sometimes to the point of making myself sick. Once I got a car, my physical activity was usually limited to my part-time retail job & the occasion trip to the beach.

Gastric bypass has been referred to by some as a "fresh start" & I agree. This is was I needed. Given all I had learned about nutrition & exercise over the years I knew I could be successful if I could just get a good start. After all of my "failures" with diets I needed something that I was convinced would work(almost like Dumbo's Magic Feather). The biggest reason I was so convinced that gastric bypass would work for me was because after surgery your body will usually produce a lower amount of the Ghrelin hormone; which is what makes that little voice in your head go, "I'm hungry!" Without the constant thought of food in my head I am freer to live my life.

How long has it been since you had the surgery?

7 months.


How did you feel after the surgery was done?

I felt great. I've always been remarkably healthy, even at 400 lbs my cholesterol & blood pressure were near perfect. I was up and walking around just a few hours after surgery. I took 4 weeks off work to recover(mostly because I could). I felt a little light headed & tired for the first few weeks but once I was able to start eating protein shakes & soft foods I felt really good.

Mentally I was ecstatic. The weight came off easily & didn't feel hungry at all for the first few months. It's actually been fun looking at food in a more abstract manner. My tastes have changed a lot so I've been trying new things and wondering what I enjoyed about certain guilty pleasures.


Did you have many complications following the surgery?

Very few. As I mentioned before I am taking antidepressants to treat my current chemical imbalance. As far as I can tell it is pretty common for women who've had this surgery or who have lot a lot of weight quickly to take antidepressants. Studies suggest that excess estrogen will trigger depression(because being a woman isn't fun enough already?).

I've been lucky when it comes to food. There are very fews things that I can't eat. Even sweet stuff like chocolate doesn't usually give me problems. Only stuff that's really carb-heavy, like rice & potatoes, upsets my stomach regularly but I'm always careful when I try something new because I never know. Just a few weeks ago a scrambled egg gave me stomach ache for half a day.


Do you feel like you achieved what you set out to by having the surgery?

I can't say that I've achieved my goal yet. When my surgeon originally asked me what my goal was I had no idea what to say. I knew I would never be the 135 lbs that is considered the "Ideal Weight" for a woman my size but what did I want to be? Eventually I decided that I wanted to be under 200 lbs. This meant that I would need to lose 200 lbs. Now I'm 7 months out & I've lost 150 lbs. I currently weigh about 250 and to be perfectly honest I think I could live the rest of my life at this size & be happy. I'm still losing weight but the more time I spend with the Size Acceptance community the less I care about the number on the scale and the more I just want to go out & do things.


Would you recommend it to other people who are considering weight loss surgery? Would you recommend it to anyone or only to particular cases?

Given everything I have heard & seen with regard to weight-loss surgery, both online & in real life, I wouldn't make a recommendation to anyone. There are too many risks not to make the decision for yourself. For me, it has done everything I wanted it to do and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Only time will tell if I can maintain my weight loss without further complications but I am optimistic and I have no reason to think that my life won't be everything I want it to be.

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This is just one woman's story on weight loss surgery. If you have your own story, why not drop us a line on twitter or leave a comment and we would be happy to help share your story too.

Whilst Doreen is very happy with her choice, there are many different opinions on this subject. If you want to read another view on weight loss surgery (this time lap banding), you can check out a recent post over on Fat Lot of Good.

I was talking to someone this evening about men's fashion and questions came up about what would I want if I could have anything. I wasn't really sure to be honest but I came up with a few things that I could think of off the top of my head.

Give Natalie an idea and she'll run with it. In a few minutes flat, she sent me a number of links to sites on men's fashion. Let me be honest here - I am no fashionista. I'm a humble man simply trying to get through life being as fancy as he can be.

One of the links she sent me was to a Modus Couture blog post with a couple of pics of a hot, bearded man dressed up and ready to go!

Corpus Spring Summer 09

That man is stylin'. It's a shame that I haven't been able to find pictures of the whole collection to link to. Shame Corpus, shame. I'm kinda going off track here.

I thought to myself that perhaps I could look for similar clothing in larger sizes available in Australia. How hard would it be? Actually, pretty bloody hard.

This is the selection of trousers for one major online 'big guy' clothing store.

Selection of Casual Trousers - Big Chaps Mensware

Sorry what? That isn't a selection. Jeans, a flexi waist trouser, denim trouser and a jean pant? Do you want me to look like I've stepped out of my Dad's wardrobe again? It's like you expect me to walk around in a pair of Stubbies and a Hawaiian shirt during the day, and then upgrade to 'Jean Pant' at night for some sophistication. Pah-lease.

Natalie found this other awesome look as well, from the Blackbird Blog. Smart musician dude carrying smart musician style bag with skinny tie, geeking it to the max glasses, and the jeans.

Schoolboy Style with Lad Musician

At least I know where to get the jeans from.

This is all I want:

• Clothes that fit me and fit me well
• Good quality fabrics that last and wear well
• Styles that make sense to me today, not me in twenty years time or twenty years ago
• I want to be able to look fancy without having to spend a FORTUNE

Give this man some good clothes so I can look as good as I feel about myself!

Being a fat acceptance blogger doesn't mean you won't feel down sometimes. It doesn't mean you will come across things that make you question what you believe. It doesn't mean you can brush off all the hurtful words as ignorance. But that's OK.

So over the last few weeks I've been feeling a bit anxious here and there when a few medical symptoms have come on. Also during the last few weeks, I've been really into myself about being fat yet again. I've equated fat as being bad and that to be healthy I need to not be fat. That doesn't sound very fat accepting, and it isn't. However I went there and I'm happy to admit to my flaws.

I'm fairly new to the fat acceptance concept compared to some of the other bloggers on AoF (like my wife) and so I still sometimes struggle with the idea. I still have thoughts of "well it's not healthy to be fat, that's why I'm sick" or "I feel so tired - if only I wasn't so fat!" What is important to remember is that even the best of us at some stage can go back to old, more familiar habits without realising it.

When I think more clearly, the issue is clearly a health one. If I exercised more, I would be healthier. If I ate better (fresher foods; foods that don't upset my reflux; smaller portions which is also important for reflux) then I would be healthier too. Doing these things would help me to be healthy.

"So?", you say. That's a weight loss program.

Yes, it is. But what if I lost no weight? You can eat the perfect diet, and do the perfect amount of exercise and still be fat and healthy. What's so wrong with that? If I have a general level of fitness and a generally good, nutritious diet, then so what?

Weight loss isn't the goal. Healthiness is the goal. If I aim for health and achieve it, it doesn't matter if I'm fat or not. What matters is that you accept me no matter what shape I am, or what level of health I have.

To me, that's fat acceptance as I understand it.

Disagree? Talk to me.

I'm currently a public sector employee and I've been in the sector since 2002. Up until then I was either unemployed or working part time jobs like Chinese Food Delivery Driver or Franklins Checkout Chick. I was lucky to get a traineeship with the State Government and my career world has expanded from there. (Lucky I was a male - I seemed to fill a required quote!)

Seven and a bit years on, with only a three month foray as a temp in the private sector, I've done pretty well for myself. I don't have a university degree, but I have a degree in "working your way up through the public sector." My Year 12 (final year) high school Accounting has become very handy over the years, and I've gone from an Administration Officer, Procurement Officer, Senior Procurement Officer (titles are everything!), Assets Officer, Finance Officer and now Senior Finance Officer (there's that title thing again!). At the moment I'm an Acting Team Leader. I think that's pretty ace.

So now that I've given myself a massive ego trip, onto the point of my post. I feel like I've achieved a lot in my career. I worked hard and taken some knocks. It took five years to get myself a permanent position rather than hanging onto my career by a thread. Another two to get a permanent promotion. And yet I've been FAT all the while.

There is this idea that there is a glass ceiling that if you are fat you will never succeed in business. You never see fat men and women in movies or on TV running corporations or even being middle management. Usually the fat guy is the one middle management are picking on. It doesn't have to be that way.

I have some tips to help you in order to success in your career while being fat and fancy.

1. Always be fancy. By that I mean dress well, make sure you have well fitting clothes that suit your figure. Don't show too much skin and dress according to the general feel of your working environment. A couple of days in any organisation will show you what is expected. (You could always ask - no one will bite!)
2. Be confident in your abilities. You were hired because they thought you would be good at your job, so be good. Do your best and ask for help. Don't get into the mindset that you have to work it all out on your own. Sure, show some initiative but you need to get stuff right.
3. Don't play the fat card. You know what I'm talking about, and I've done it plenty of time. This is where you are all talking in a social situation and you are talking about this and that. "Oh, I've never done that - but I can't cause I'm too fat!" Perhaps be honest and say "It's never really interested me" or whatever the truth is.  Also don't do the fat jokes. Been there, and people aren't laughing with you - they just feel sorry for you.
4. Be yourself. You have to be there eight hours a day. If you want to have that chocolate bar, have the fecking chocolate bar. If you want to go for a walk at lunchtime, go for a walk. The only caveat here is that if you like to chat with your workmates a lot, don't let it impact on your work. In fact, nothing should impact on your work.

Actually when I think about it, just about all that could be used for non fat people too. Just replace any reference to fat with skinny or normal or whatever defining word you want to use and it still makes sense.

So in conclusion, being fat doesn't make you a poor employee, so don't sabotage yourself, get in there and work hard. If you get knocked back for that promotion, ask why. Get feedback. Find out what things you need to improve on to get to the next level. They cannot deny you because you are fat, so don't give them any other reason to say no.

I note reports that fat women have more issues in the workplace than fat men. This could be true but I'm not really in a position to comment myself. If you feel that this is the case, leave me some comments. If there is enough feedback perhaps I can form it into a future post presenting a female perspective on this topic.

I've been meaning to post this for a few days now. I saw a picture of myself from a Sunday afternoon trip to the park with some friends and thought "HEY! I CAN LOOK FANCY TOO!!!"

Fancy Nick: Not my glasses, but fancy none the less.

It's actually the first time in, well, ever that I've thought that about myself. I know that with my wedding photos (which you'll see if you read back a couple of days to one of Natalie's posts) I thought I looked pretty good. There was still this "but I'm fat!" in a sad way when I was seeing them for the first time.

Now, I feel like I can fat it up and look awesome in any situation. My wardrobe isn't that extensive at the moment, but I can work on that. Mmmm, spending up big at Kingsize Big and Tall. What I would like is more variety and for fat man clothes to not cost an arm and a leg. Just an arm or a leg would be sufficient.

However I think I know who one of my icons of fancy is. Penn Jillette. I'm way shorter than Penn is though so the look wouldn't work for me, but he comes out time and time again looking awesome even with a casual look.Penn Jillette - fancy!

I think part of it is just the metric butt load of confidence that this man exudes. In fact it is almost pouring out of his skin, his face, his clothes and the awesome goatee. He has a bit more hair though. Which moves me right into my next train of thought. Love a good segue.

I'm balding and I'm proud to be balding. I don't want some advanced hair regrowth formula because I wouldn't look like me any more. I haven't had a full head of hair in years. So I'm starting to wonder whether what to do with it. Do I shave it all off again, and keep a beard? Can you be a bald shaven beard wearer and look fancy?

Don't get me wrong. I think bald men are fancy. I do sometimes wish I had more hair, but only so I could grow into a silver fox when I get older. Could a silver beard with a bald head work? Perhaps I could just leave a small amount of hair to try and make sense of the beard. Or perhaps just a simple Penn Jillette style goatee.

Nah, I'll stay with what I've got for now thanks. I'm pretty darn fancy as it is.