Like with many things, I have a love/hate relationship with the fatshionista community on livejournal. On the one hand, I am continually inspired by the brave, stylish and savvy users who post their outfits day after day. It inspires me to try new things (not just in fashion, either!) and to stand up for myself. 

I sometimes feel there is a darker side to it, though. When someone posts a picture and receives a comment along the lines of "Wow, that outfit is really ugly", it gets me thinking; I don't know if I like being a part of a community that judges people. Okay, usually they're talking about the outfits on fatshionista, but aren't our fashion choices an extension of who we are? There's often an attitude of "don't post if you don't want to be criticised" but I think that's a load of shit.  There's a feeling of entitlement in these sorts of comments that unnerve me, the same way stupid youtube/twitter/news article comments get to me.  

It's things that people would never say in real life, but since it's on the internet it's somehow okay. Since they will probably never have to face them in "the real world", it's for some reason acceptable to make disparaging comments and judgements about a person. I may be completely naive for thinking this, but I believe the world would be a much better place if everyone reserved judgement of others. We are all a mixture of good and bad, and to write a person off simply because of their appearance (or gender, race, religion, sexuality, political views, etc) is complete codswollop. And while I think fatshionista is a safe place for me to feel accepted and celebrated as a fat person, I still dislike the occasional judging comment that happens there.

Since reading Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby's book, i've realised that I judge people too - I have done it on the internet (generally in the form of emo flame wars) as well as in real life. I often like to sit in public places and "people watch", and because I love hearing stories I often make up long-winded tales of people I deem interesting.  Sometimes though?  I judge people.  I go "oh, she should NOT be wearing that skirt with that top" or "woah, that outfit is way too tight."

After realising that I am a perpetrator of the behaviour I most dislike, I've made a conscious effort not to do this anymore. It's hurtful not only to others, but also damaging to myself. Who am I to say what a person should or shouldn't wear? And maybe that person I am judging has circumstances which I don't even know about - maybe they wear that outfit because it's their favourite thing in the world, or it's all that they can afford, or because it makes them feel confident and fabulous. It's not fair for me, or any of us to make these sorts of comments on others.  Because that's what people have done to me about my weight in the past, and boy did it make me feel like crap.

Is it a frou-frou naivety that i'm showing here?  That we should all hold hands and sing Kum Ba Ya and braid each other's hair? Okay maybe not that far, but you get the gist.  Am I being silly for encouraging people to be nicer to others for no other reason than to be nice? Or do I need a good dose of reality, a reality that can't change no matter what we do?

Leave your thoughts in the comments, as always I'm really interested to know. Also, apologies if this entry makes no sense; writing in the wee hours of the morning makes me less than coherent. :p