Comments on: Love is Not Something You Should Have to Earn

By: Fat Heffalump

Fat Heffalump — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 11:08:00 +0000

I remember what that felt like. It wasn’t all that long ago that I was in the same place as that bride. My life would change, someone would love me, things would be better, so long as I lost that weight.

Thing is, I did lose the weight. Things weren’t better. Life changed, but not in a good way. And nobody could love the obsessive, angry, depressed person I was then.

It’s damn hard work to bring yourself to a place of self acceptance and self love. It’s damn hard work to stay there once you start to get it. But it’s also a damn good place to be when you get there!

By: Mulberry

Mulberry — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 07:25:00 +0000

GeekWife: Check out Well Rounded Mama for some much-needed support.
Meanwhile, many of us understand that whatever goes wrong wrong with you is said to be due to your weight. I remember working in an office and picking up a cold on occasion, and my mother started up with the “If you weren’t so fat, you wouldn’t get sick!” “Ma. most of the office has caught a cold this winter.”, I’d say, but of course reason doesn’t make a dent with some people. The trouble is that so many doctors believe that fat magically causes (or at the very least exacerbates) every human ill from which a fat person might suffer.

I’ve recently lost some weight due to some medicine I’m taking to treat a disease. People like to compliment me on my weoight loss, and I hate that. I tell them straight out it’s because I’m sick and things like that happen. The more decent ones shut up after that.

By: TheGeekWife

TheGeekWife — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 23:09:00 +0000

Unfortunately, after years of loving and accepting and being happy in my 115kg frame, for the last six months I have been slowly spiraling out of control and beginning to hate myself like I did when I was an adolescent.

Because my partner and I are trying to have a baby… and the first thing *anyone* tells me is “Oh, you’ll have to lose some weight, first.”

Doctors, nurses, my mother (who has, in the last year, turned from a fat-accepting size 22 woman who I have loved and respected into a bony-arsed size 12 with food issues the size of the moon. Apparently my wedding photos set her off and now she has an eating disorder that she will not admit to and everyone else keeps praising her for losing so much weight.) EVERYONE tells me that I need to lose weight to have a baby.

It’s bad enough knowing that with the gift of genetics from my family alone I’ve only got a 50% chance of conceiving naturally, and even then only a 40% chance of carrying that baby to term.

There is no connection between these numbers and my weight. The doctor who has been my primary physician for the last 25 years has told me that no matter what I weigh I will still have odds that are just as sucky. In fact, if I were to lose any significant kgs while trying to conceive then chances are my periods and ovulation would dry up completely as my body panics, thinking that I’m being starved and could never support and nourish another being.

It’s bad enough that articles like THIS ONE – http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/pregnancy/pregnancy-nutrition-and-wellbeing/pregnancys-a-weighty-issue-20101203-18iqk.html – get printed, women talking about weight gain in pregnancy like it’s some kind of disease, let alone my own family and the people I thought I could trust to be supportive of me on my journey to have a baby telling me that nothing good will happen to me as long as I’m in the ‘overweight’ category according to the evil BMI.