Comments on: Blogging in the Fat-o-Sphere – one man’s story http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html Fatting all over the place and looking fancy all the while. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:26:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: PerryAu http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-576 PerryAu Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:40:30 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-576 I married a size 24 women who was wonderful but I battled her negative self esteem and lost. I have always had a problem with acceptance from others and making friends has always been hard.<br>I found a quote that I think is real good and I want to share it with others.<br><br>*There comes a time in your life when you realise,<br>*Who will always matter, who does matter and who never did!<br>*So don't worry about people from your past,<br>*There is a reason why they didn't make it to your future!<br><br>Thank you Nick for sharing. I married a size 24 women who was wonderful but I battled her negative self esteem and lost. I have always had a problem with acceptance from others and making friends has always been hard.
I found a quote that I think is real good and I want to share it with others.

*There comes a time in your life when you realise,
*Who will always matter, who does matter and who never did!
*So don't worry about people from your past,
*There is a reason why they didn't make it to your future!

Thank you Nick for sharing.

]]> By: 1Sonya1 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-577 1Sonya1 Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:41:21 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-577 Thank you for posting your story. I feel like we need more men in the fatosphere (and not just to talk about men's fashion!). While WLS is something I can't agree with, I am also not going to tell someone what they can and can't do with their own body. I thank you for posting her story and fostering a discussion, no matter how heated it got. Thank you for posting your story. I feel like we need more men in the fatosphere (and not just to talk about men's fashion!). While WLS is something I can't agree with, I am also not going to tell someone what they can and can't do with their own body. I thank you for posting her story and fostering a discussion, no matter how heated it got.

]]> By: nycivan http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-578 nycivan Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:06:11 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-578 Well Nick I am glad we are starting to see a little from the fat male voices about fat acceptance. I think that the current shit storm on the fat o sphere is sad. I am just looking to make my way to a life that is happy. Blogging about my experience is part of this journey. Fat is a feminist issue, however, it is not just a feminist issue. I do feel a bit a a dismissive attitude from some of the feminist when I ask about the male expirience.<br><br>Nick, as a fellow fat man, I would appreciate your comments on my blog. thanks<br><br>Ivan<br><a href="http://fatinnyc.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://fatinnyc.blogspot.com/</a> Well Nick I am glad we are starting to see a little from the fat male voices about fat acceptance. I think that the current shit storm on the fat o sphere is sad. I am just looking to make my way to a life that is happy. Blogging about my experience is part of this journey. Fat is a feminist issue, however, it is not just a feminist issue. I do feel a bit a a dismissive attitude from some of the feminist when I ask about the male expirience.

Nick, as a fellow fat man, I would appreciate your comments on my blog. thanks

Ivan
http://fatinnyc.blogspot.com/

]]> By: Dee http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-579 Dee Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:30:32 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-579 I have to admit I don't get fat acceptance. I get loving yourself and treating yourself with kindness and forgiving yourself and positive self talk etc, but I don't get fat acceptance. I read yesterday's post and thought, 'nice story about one women's journey' and then I went back and read the comments today after reading the above post and I.don't.get.it. <br>The feeling I get about fat acceptance is that it's as limiting and judgemental as the WLS stuff that you all go on about. For me it's simply about accepting me. in all my imperfection-ness (is that a word?) it's not about judging others for their dieting or not dieting or what ever. <br>I am large girl who personally doesn't like the word 'fat' and I never use it. Fat, skinny - these are not words that I wish to define myself by. Healthy, fit, happy, loved, smart, funny, friendly - these are words to define oneself and work towards obtaining.<br>I certainly wish that Nick didn't have to endure what was done to him, and I send him lots of hugs, but by judging others for thier own life choices and seemly to rejoice when things go wrong and wanting everyone else to stay fat and simply accept it because it will make you feel better - well for me that's just sad.<br><br>First time poster... I have to admit I don't get fat acceptance. I get loving yourself and treating yourself with kindness and forgiving yourself and positive self talk etc, but I don't get fat acceptance. I read yesterday's post and thought, 'nice story about one women's journey' and then I went back and read the comments today after reading the above post and I.don't.get.it.
The feeling I get about fat acceptance is that it's as limiting and judgemental as the WLS stuff that you all go on about. For me it's simply about accepting me. in all my imperfection-ness (is that a word?) it's not about judging others for their dieting or not dieting or what ever.
I am large girl who personally doesn't like the word 'fat' and I never use it. Fat, skinny – these are not words that I wish to define myself by. Healthy, fit, happy, loved, smart, funny, friendly – these are words to define oneself and work towards obtaining.
I certainly wish that Nick didn't have to endure what was done to him, and I send him lots of hugs, but by judging others for thier own life choices and seemly to rejoice when things go wrong and wanting everyone else to stay fat and simply accept it because it will make you feel better – well for me that's just sad.

First time poster…

]]> By: Mulberry http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-580 Mulberry Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:13:31 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-580 I don't like the implications of your mother's attitude. You goy mistreated in school because of your weight. Then you come home and what does your mother do? Puts you on (I gather) some sort of diet. Look, if you were teased about your religion, would you come home and expect your folks to say, "Let's go and get you converted."? Telling you to do a weight-loss program to avoid teasing is like saying that it's your fault you were teased; it's like getting another smack in the face when you get home. Now I'm sure your mother didn't intend to have that effect, but that's the way it feels. You - and the rest of us who've gone through similar experiences - have a right to be angry at a society wherein our weight becomes a yardstick by which to measure how deserving we are of decent treatment. <br> Thank you for posting. It's good to see more men posting in the fatosphere. I don't like the implications of your mother's attitude. You goy mistreated in school because of your weight. Then you come home and what does your mother do? Puts you on (I gather) some sort of diet. Look, if you were teased about your religion, would you come home and expect your folks to say, “Let's go and get you converted.”? Telling you to do a weight-loss program to avoid teasing is like saying that it's your fault you were teased; it's like getting another smack in the face when you get home. Now I'm sure your mother didn't intend to have that effect, but that's the way it feels. You – and the rest of us who've gone through similar experiences – have a right to be angry at a society wherein our weight becomes a yardstick by which to measure how deserving we are of decent treatment.
Thank you for posting. It's good to see more men posting in the fatosphere.

]]> By: JLopezCostume http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-581 JLopezCostume Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:59:34 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-581 Rock on! Rock on!

]]> By: Linda Bacon http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-582 Linda Bacon Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:21:38 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-582 Excellent post! So glad you're on the journey and you found your voice, Nick. Just wanted to alert you to a fun site to help get better connected with Health at Every Size and make a statement that it's important. It's called the HAES Community Resources (<a href="http://www.HAESCommunity.Org" rel="nofollow">www.HAESCommunity.Org</a>). It would also be a good place to let others know about your blog.<br><br>All my best,<br>Linda Bacon Excellent post! So glad you're on the journey and you found your voice, Nick. Just wanted to alert you to a fun site to help get better connected with Health at Every Size and make a statement that it's important. It's called the HAES Community Resources (http://www.HAESCommunity.Org). It would also be a good place to let others know about your blog.

All my best,
Linda Bacon

]]> By: JennyRose http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-583 JennyRose Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:05:55 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-583 Welcome – I think it is great to have new and male voices!<br><br>I too was surprised to hear something other than a horror story but I do not doubt that was her reality. I heard a woman who was struggling and was looking for support as a fat person, not as a member of the WLS community. I would feel very bad if she ended up feeling invalidated, marginalized or chased away. I am not a proponent of WLS and wish it was illegal. To me it is beautifully disguised mutilation that usually leaves the person worse off than before. Worse off includes everything from mild to death. The story you posted, which is the only one you got I believe, is very gray for a subject most of us see as black and white. <br><br>I do believe in meeting people where they are. You and this woman are relatively new to FA and I find your voices interesting and helpful. I would guess every FA reader was expecting a horror story because we are so against WLS. It may have helped to remind the casual or new reader of the downside of WLS and link to other sources. I would also like to hear how this woman's journey continues.<br><br>Shapely Prose has a clear point of view which I enjoy. I am a feminist and it is nice to see a feminist approach. It is not unique to the fatoshpere to have blogs that are based on certain likeness of thought. SP is strident in its views but it does not have a hidden agenda and it makes clear what its values are. Any interest group needs to have a foundation of certain ideas that are non-negotiable or there is nothing to hold the group together. HAES stands for number of things and I think anyone who adheres to these beliefs belongs in the fatosphere regardless of their politics. There is also room for questioning and that is especially important to newbies who are just beginning to believe in FA and HAES. No single blog can speak for the fatosphere but all blogs that want to speak as part of the fatosphere must have FA and HAES as a foundation. At least that would be my rule if I was queen of the internet. Welcome – I think it is great to have new and male voices!

I too was surprised to hear something other than a horror story but I do not doubt that was her reality. I heard a woman who was struggling and was looking for support as a fat person, not as a member of the WLS community. I would feel very bad if she ended up feeling invalidated, marginalized or chased away. I am not a proponent of WLS and wish it was illegal. To me it is beautifully disguised mutilation that usually leaves the person worse off than before. Worse off includes everything from mild to death. The story you posted, which is the only one you got I believe, is very gray for a subject most of us see as black and white.

I do believe in meeting people where they are. You and this woman are relatively new to FA and I find your voices interesting and helpful. I would guess every FA reader was expecting a horror story because we are so against WLS. It may have helped to remind the casual or new reader of the downside of WLS and link to other sources. I would also like to hear how this woman's journey continues.

Shapely Prose has a clear point of view which I enjoy. I am a feminist and it is nice to see a feminist approach. It is not unique to the fatoshpere to have blogs that are based on certain likeness of thought. SP is strident in its views but it does not have a hidden agenda and it makes clear what its values are. Any interest group needs to have a foundation of certain ideas that are non-negotiable or there is nothing to hold the group together. HAES stands for number of things and I think anyone who adheres to these beliefs belongs in the fatosphere regardless of their politics. There is also room for questioning and that is especially important to newbies who are just beginning to believe in FA and HAES. No single blog can speak for the fatosphere but all blogs that want to speak as part of the fatosphere must have FA and HAES as a foundation. At least that would be my rule if I was queen of the internet.

]]> By: lifeonfats http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-584 lifeonfats Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:02:14 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-584 I'm glad we have you and other men out there blogging about FA. We need you as allies, and we need to start being more accepting of other viewpoints. I'm glad we have you and other men out there blogging about FA. We need you as allies, and we need to start being more accepting of other viewpoints.

]]> By: Stephanie A http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html/comment-page-1#comment-585 Stephanie A Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:29:40 +0000 http://www.axisoffat.com/2009/10/blogging-in-the-fat-o-sphere-one-mans-story.html#comment-585 Wondeful post, Nick. Kudos to you and everyone who writes on this lovely site...my friends and university peers follow this blog closely... you'll be happy to know that Mount Allison University in small town Sackville, New Brunswick ,Canada actually touches on fat activism in class and in our textbook....When people come to me for more information, links, resources on the fat activist movement, this is one of the blogs I often throw their way. Keep up the inspiring work, and stay fancy! Wondeful post, Nick. Kudos to you and everyone who writes on this lovely site…my friends and university peers follow this blog closely… you'll be happy to know that Mount Allison University in small town Sackville, New Brunswick ,Canada actually touches on fat activism in class and in our textbook….When people come to me for more information, links, resources on the fat activist movement, this is one of the blogs I often throw their way. Keep up the inspiring work, and stay fancy!

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