Natalie

A Fat Bride Survival Guide

When I got married I was a fat bride. In fact, I was fat when I got engaged – I was even *gasp* fat when Nick and I met! Despite having a well established, recognised and loved body shape before getting married I copped a huge amount of pressure to lose weight in the lead up to the wedding. For some reason, I had it in my head that my wedding day would be a celebration of love and happiness between Nick and I however it seemed that foolish me had little idea of the true wedding agenda – basically some kind of reality tv show where the ugly duckling turns gorgeous siren.

 

Wedding Mosaic

There would be no end of helpful clicks and tuts on hand to whip me into shape (I maintain that rectangular with bumps is a shape, dammit) for my reveal, wait, wedding day. My hairdresser at the time barely let her congratulations fly past her lips before she’d cornered me and asked how much weight I was losing. She lost the job. Bridal stores have ALL KINDS of euphemisms for asking about your weight loss plans. My favourite was the ever so polite “Now, are we planning on losing or gaining any weight for the big day?” Not to mention the hushed murmurings of “big girl”, “solid build”, “flattering” and “voluptuous”. You know what? I walked out of all of those places. I wanted a bunch of supportive people helping me look even more fancy on my wedding day, not a wake of frowny-faced vultures picking over the fat girl.

I wanted to share a few things that helped me survive as a fat bride, because if you’re not used to speaking up it really can be intimidating and upsetting. I had a crystalline vision of how I wanted to look on my wedding day and I wasn’t ashamed of my body, nor did I have plans to change it consciously before the date. Being somewhat blunt and quite confident, I had few real issues with the barrage of concerned but unhelpful people who just wanted me to look fabulous when I got married. I understood that they were coming from a mindset held by most brides, a world where a slimmer bride must be the more beautiful bride, but I was not convinced of that – as I suppose most of the Axis of Fat readership is!

  1. Come out as fat to all of the people involved in your wedding party.

    Lay down some ground rules when it comes to your body – i.e.: it’s none of your business. I also told my bridesmaids that I would not entertain negative body talk during the fittings. If they waited until I was out of the room, that was fine but I didn’t want dress fittings to be railroaded by unproductive and negative discussion!

  2. Look at some real life weddings.

    Offbeat Bride is still one of my favourite wedding sites because there are so many different bodies all happy, celebrating and looking great! Glossy magazines are fine, but if you don’t want to have a traditional western wedding you’ll be left feeling empty! There are heaps of wedding blogs out there to help you with ideas for garments, decorations, themes and locations.

  3. Talk about your ideas with your wedding party.

    This is especially important when it comes to garments. Different bodies like to wear different things!

  4. Bridal stores generally carry two sizes in “try on” dresses – 10 and 18.

    I think I only went to one store, where I definitely did not fit in the 18. I figured that if they were going to assume that they could just grade a smaller sized pattern up to “fit” me, then they could go jump.

  5. Investigate a dressmaker.

    The WeddingThis is what I did – my mother and I asked an assistant at a  local fabric shop for her recommendations and she gave us the phone number of the amazing Gloria, a couture seamstress and pattern designer. Gloria only took petite and plus sized clients, and had incredible pattern drafting skills which she used to outfit women who didn’t fit within mainstream sizing. Instant brownie points! Working with Gloria was a great experience – I had designed my dress but with her guidance we made it epic! We also designed the bridesmaid dresses in such a way that the design would be adapted for each of the girls’ personalised slopers (a sloper is like a basic pattern created to fit your measurements). I wanted my sisters and my friend to feel special on the day, with a gorgeous dress that they felt great in.

  6. If a vendor bothers you about losing weight, drop them.

    If you feel up to it, you can always say something like “I’m not planning on losing weight for my wedding”. You don’t need to  sass them back, or come back with a quip that will make them regret ever saying anything to you. You don’t have time for that, and you’ll feel rotten afterwards. Focus on your main goal – getting this theatrical monster of a wedding on the road.

  7. Listen to people, but don’t forget that you are the authority on your body.

    Plenty of bridal (and plain old everyday fashion) assistants have plenty of things to say on what’s “flattering” or “suitable”. There seems to be a metric buttload of rules and regulations and if you bother following all of them you’ll basically wave goodbye to any sense of individuality. If you really want to wear a dress that’s cut a certain way, ask the assistant or the dressmaker if there’s something close if they absolutely veto your first choice (or, dump them). Tell them why you want your neckline just like so. Be assertive and use “I statements” – “I feel confident when I have cap sleeves” or “I feel really gorgeous in a strapless dress”. Push for what you want, or else you’re having someone else’s wedding.

  8. Wear comfortable shoes that fit you correctly.

    Most wedding days go on for 12 hours – you don’t want to be wearing unsupportive shoes that make you snarl. Alternatively, take your damn shoes off. I did that, because my gorgeous Italian sling backs kept slipping off! Unfortunately I also stood in dog poo, but uh… what can you do when you can’t see your feet let alone half a metre in front of you?

  9. You don’t have to wear the garter belt.

    I really did not want Nick to dig through my skirts and pull a rotten scrunchy off my thigh, only to throw it to his mates. The whole idea grossed me out. What I did was arrange to slip it to him with my magical sleight of hand during the whole garter toss show. I was going to pin it inside my skirt, but I didn’t get a chance! Of course, if you hate this part of the reception  – nix it. You’re not really beholden to anyone to include anything on your wedding day besides the bits required by law during your ceremony!

  10. Have fun!

    After months of planning, your wedding day should be when you take the pressure down. If you’ve been true to yourself and your relationship, you should be feeling completely at ease – surrounded by all the people who love you and wish you well.

Do any other fat brides (nay, fat grooms!) have tips? I’d love to read them – post a comment!

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  • wherever

    Your dress is so beautiful. I love love LOVE the red. You were a gorgeous bride and you have every right to feel proud. Kudos to you for doing it your own way, and for making sure your bridesmaids had great dresses, too.

  • http://www.cakefor2.blogspot.com Mindy

    I just wanted to applaud you. <3 I swear to god i read SO MANY blogs every day about weddings — in an attempt to plan my own — that this is the FIRST i've seen to promote us plus-sized brides. :-) it made me want to stand up and clap! (except i'd completely scare the bejeebus out of my cat and my parents might wonder if i was mentally stable o.O). It's really refreshing and inspiring to see somebody who's not totally and completely concerned with their weight during their wedding, and although i *do* plan on losing weight myself (more for my health than the wedding istelf.) i could care less if i'm “perfect” for the wedding. <3

    Very awesome. <3

  • Ashley

    Thank you for the bit about the garter removal! I can't stand the idea of my FH diving under my skirt in front of all our friends and family. I find it mortifying. But every time I've suggested the possibility of not doing it, I've gotten flack from people. I'm sticking to my guns though, and handing FH my garter before the toss when no one is looking. Thank you for the words of encouragement!

  • agapantha

    OMG…reading your post and seeing your photos, it is uncanny the similarities in our weddings.

    We're getting married next year (june 30) and i've already had a few comments about slimming down for the wedding (not too many, mostly from acquaintances). how funny that is for those who know adam, whose only request for my wedding gown was that it was tight and showed off my hips and ass! no A-line 'hide it' dress for me! People for some reason seem to struggle with the fact that Adam finds me sexy, and that I am quite content with my body.

    I too am wearing red and found a local designer. And we're having croquet at the wedding ceremony location too!!!

    I can't wait to post photos of our untraditional wedding with me showing off my body! tongues will wag but i have no doubt that all will remember my dress and our wedding

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  • http://rayraeart.com Rachel

    I love it!
    You really inspired me:D

  • http://weddingretailer.com/ Isabella Wedding Center

    I completely agree with Kathleenjoy
    “”Natalie you are such a positive writer and your shining spirit is so clearly communicated in your posts – especially when you write with such confidence about your loving wedding.
    You are nice bride!

  • Deirdrelarisa

    My brother's a fashion photographer, and he told me recently, everyone looks better shot a little above or below, but which one is quite individual, regardless of size! Photographers often shoot models both ways during the test part of the shoot to see–Thought that was interesting..

  • Slyviolet

    And now that the wedding has happened, I can share some gorgeous shots of my beautiful Steampunk wedding. Living proof that beautiful, sexy, even racy and revealing photos can be taken of a fat bride. <3

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/slyviolet/sets/721

  • Missy

    Lol I know this is almost a year later, but I just found this. And I am happy I did. You look absolutely gorgeous, and so happy and relaxed. Even though I'm not getting married for another 2 years, I am pretty sure I will still be a fat bride. But my fiance has given me THE MOST AMAZING self confidence in the time that we have been together, that I dont care. I know I will look amazing, and feel amazing, no matter what size I am. Do you have more pix of your wedding? I would love to see some more of that fantaboolusly fantastic dress. I love that you used red. I wanna be in purple.

  • Liz

    Bravo, Christie! :) I have experienced something similar: I had my dress fitted at my lowest weight since high school, (I'm 27) and since then, I have put on 5 pounds. The last time I had my fitting, I thought the dress was just a wee bit snug…but perhaps I was being paranoid, because my mom and the seamstress said they couldn't see what I was seeing. Anyhoo, I have tried dieting for the past six months. I'm getting married next Sunday the 27th. I have not been able to shake that 5 pounds that I gained, and I have chastised myself many times over it. I have starved myself, lived on rabbit food, exercised like crazy, even…I hate to say…contemplated bulemia, but my body just won't budge. So finally, here we are…9 days until “I do” and I finally just couldn't care less about my weight. Like you said, I just don't care! I'm going to walk down that aisle, feeling beautiful and sexy, dammit. :) AND I'm also going to enjoy all the delicious foods, in moderation, that will be served before and at my wedding!

  • Rachel

    Thats so so nice… I m proud of u and natalie too …. I mean I am looking forward to get married in another 6 months … and working out like mad… never felt i wanted to lose weight so badly … but the good thing is my man says.. u lose weight so u r healthy …. and i used to say i wanna lose weight to look pretty !! Its so stupid of me not realize that we have been together for 6 years and love happened and grew n all the while i was fat …. Yo .. as much as it is true that ppl make a big hoopla of obese esp girls… its also true that its not healthy !!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5KNGB6R43ZNUIMLBZQS27JIHYM Elexis

    Thank you!! You have no idea how good it feels to me to read this. Throughout the whole planning for my wedding I have been told to lose weight by family members. If I ate a piece of cake or any type of food that was not lettuce I got a look. I have gotten the comments about what the average woman's waist is supposed to measure compared to mine. Its hurt my feelings so much and put a lot of pressure on me for my wedding day. I do not know what people expect this beautiful woman that my fiance keeps talking about to look like. Its gotten to the point that I hope I do not disappoint. The comments have truly gotten to me and he has to remind me all of the time that I am beautiful. Its also hard to find any dress in my size at the bridal store. They had nothing and when I called I was told they do not service my size. It was horrible. There is too much hype of weight. Every bride is beautiful and we are not supposed to look the same.

    All that matters is that I look beautiful to my husband to be. Thank you!!

  • Rach

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU it is so wonderful to read this I am recently engaged and a fat chic who is loved by the kindest sweetest man, I'm a good person, I work hard and I thought this was obvious to the world regardless of my figure but it's funny how once you get engaged you have people lining up to tell you how fat you are……and the shocking part was that it was people who I loved most saying it. My mother started it by telling me that my engagement ring looked like a rock on a sausage she then laughed like I should have found it funny….she then preceeded to tell me to make sure i didn't wear a satin dress or a tight dress as that way people wouldn't see how fat I was……I thought she was just being a bit critical my mum is someone who views anyone over a size 12 as fat but then I was asked by 5 different people how much weight I was planning on losing….I have only been engaged for 5 weeks so it was a massive shock to my system that people have always thought of me as hideous and not told me

  • Red girl

    you are amazing and your words rang through my head at dress shopping and made me giggle when those stuck up shop assistants made thier 'helpful' remarks! My wedding is 3 weeks away and i cant wait and your words have helped me no end.
    Thanks
    Ceri, UK

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Fields/100000974105457 Amanda Fields

    I’m going to be a new bride next year and I’m of a rounder persuasion and I’m Terrified (capitalized on purpose Xp) about finding a dress and avoiding the “Your fat” conversations. I think this will help me alot. thank you for posting this.

  • Kim

    Thank you for this. My wedding is in two weeks and I have been sitting here beating myself up for not getting svelt beforehand. I am 250, 5’2″. I’m not going to be a skinny bride, and I don’t know why I entertained that fantasy for the past year. Your words have helped me alot. I’ll be big, but I’ll be beautiful. And I was this size when my guy proposed – not like he’s expecting something different. Working hard to shut down the negative self talk and just enjoy my day.

  • Slyviolet

    If I may offer a change of wording Kim, I’d suggest that you are big *and* beautiful. It always makes me so sad when I hear myself and other women talk about our beauty in spite of our size, as if being bigger is something that hinders being beautiful.

  • Kim

    Good point. Thanks for saying so.

  • Mel

    I’ve just started getting stuff together for my wedding which is June 2012, and already I’ve become overwhelmed by everything and everyone out there that is telling me that I need to look a certain way to be a beautiful bride. My mom keeps telling me to imagine how much more beautiful I would be if I lost 20 or 30 lbs. My dad gave me a gym membership and told me he just wants me to he “healthy.” I’m a size 16, and my fiance adores me. He is the only person that disagrees with everyone about the way that I look. I think part of it is that he’s deathly afraid that my boobs would get small if I lose weight, but I know for sure he loves me for who I am. His parents think I’m pretty, and they never told him anything or made any jokes about weight, unlike my ex’s parents. I’m really happy about the support from my man’s family, but I’m disappointed in the way my own family has been treating me concerning my weight, and now even more with a wedding looming on the horizon.
    Out of frustration, I did a google search to see if there were any “fat” brides, or if being a bride meant that you had to diet till you looked “perfect.” So I happened to stumble on this article by chance, and I feel as if I’ve struck gold. You look simply stunning in your dress, and I admire your confidence. Living in America for the past 6 years, I have never come across someone who was happy and contented with the way they look. I’ve been satisfied with the way I look, but everyone around me made it seem so wrong. After reading your article, I’m not afraid to admit that I actually like the way I look, and I’m not willing to change it for anyone :)

  • Lestert Lori

    natalie – i laughed my butt off and you made me feel good about finding a dress – wish i could take you shopping w/me!! you look great and i’m so happy i saw this!!

  • Girlneedstogrowsome

    Thankyou for all those tips, I am getting married in a few days, I am a UK size 14 which I think is a 10 in the states and I know I am not big, but my mother thinks I am, I have been told what to eat and how to exercise for the months leading up the wedding, I have two kids and run my own busines and I have not managed to become perfect. I am wearing a full on red dress covered in chiffon red roses, my mum saw it at the dressmakers and said ‘um yes fine’, I know I am being stupid because its my body and my marriage, but now I am thinking of going to buy a plain white safe figure covering non strapless dress, because I don’t think I have the confidence to carry off my full on red number and I see you on your blog looking fab and I think what the f is wrong with me, I am getting married in 3 days and I need to suck it up and be strong like you. Thanks for the inspiration

  • Corrina

    Thank you so much! After reading this page I also had a look at one of the conferences you hosted and you are a gorgeous women and have made me feel so much better about myself.
    My partner and I are getting married in a couple of weeks and we gave ourselves 6 weeks to prepare everything. I have purchased my dress online and it is a princess style dress and I have been so worried about it! I tried one on about two – three dress sizes ago and it was flattering but now I am morbidly obese and a round shape I don’t think it will look as good or even good.
    But after discovering you and reading what others in the same situation have said, you know what? I am going to look god damn gorgeous too! :)
    Thank you again I will be giving this link to anyone who feels the same as I believe that this outlook should not be just for weddings but for life! If us fatties we really that bad then why would be getting married to men who love us dearly?

  • Emmy

    I’m getting married next month, and I’m fat, my fiance is fat, we met fat but we love each other reguardless. But I have such low confidence, and I feel so ugly, but seeing those photo’s really perked me up. You look beautiful in that dress, and all I can do, is hope I can look anywhere as near as good as you. I’m wearing white though, as I like the traditional theme, but great thing was I found the dress online, I would never of had the confidence to stand infront of people judging me for my looks, when it’s about me and my fiance’s big day! I’m starting to obsess last minute over my weight, though this has been planned for a little over a year, but it’s absolutly futile. I’m 17st and i’ll be 17st when I’m married, and all that should matter is my happiness, not worrying about what people think about my weight. I’m going to view this everyday just to keep positive. :) I’m too much of a negative nancy!!

  • smcbelle

    I became engaged last month and have been totally stressed about the dress since I even suspected a proposal might be coming. I love reading how slammin your wedding was and how positive you are about being the “Fat Bride”. The worst part about the whole wedding process to me is the dress and if I could I’d wear jeans to the wedding. I know that in a few months when I am forced to go shopping your thoughts will be playing back through my mind to not let any of those bridal shop wenches push me around and make me feel bad about who I am. My fiance fell in love with and proposed to a Fat girlfriend. He certainly doesn’t expect me not to be a Fat Bride. Also I think that the people you take with you to your expedition make a difference. I read how some people have mom issues. Why the hell would you take someone that makes you feel bad? I am trying to take people that I know will support me and let me know that being the Fat Bride is okay. And I have said I want some color on my dress, fuck it! After seeing this, I may go with a dress that will totally compliment my color and wear color! Thanks.

  • Aubydoby

    Thank you so so so so much. I am currently planning my wedding and am (as the owner of one bridal shop has already told me) a bigger girl. I have always had a hard time accepting my body and on top of all the regular wedding stress, having a bunch of people tell me how much weight I need to lose in order to look beautiful on my big day has really been doing a number on my emotions. I wish there were more blogs like this. You looked amazing in that dress! And you have helped give me a confidence boost so that the next time I go dress shopping I will know what to do. Again thank you. Very much. 

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  • Thefluffyowl

    You look gorgeous! And I am bookmarking this page to help me when I start planning my wedding, I have been having so much anxiety about finding dresses and dealing with people’s unsolicited advice. Thank you for posting this, and I love Offbeat Bride too!! :)  

  • Queenazura

    You look gorgeous. I love your dress! Thank you for your inspiring post.

  • Ice_princess_333

    I kinda think you took an aggressive and overly defensive attitude… I would almost rather lose a little weight than have to go through all these arrangements to stay out of uncomfortable situations. If you feel great,(and you do look beautiful in your pictures), that’s awesome. But, honestly, your super overly defensive attitude makes it seem like you aren’t as confident as you claim to be. Also, fat and happy will never make you fat and healthy, no matter how many excuses you make.

  • JMB

    Thanks for this post. I’m a plus size and though I intend to lose weight, I’m doing it as motivation, not as ANYONE ELSE’S DAMN BUSINESS! You know what? My guy loves me for who I am and what I look like now. Putting a ring on my finger isn’t a contractual obligation to shed 10, 20 or 100lbs for a day. I’m doing it because I want to be healthy, screw all those people!

  • heather

    I just found this post, and mostly, I just want to say good for you on how comfortable you were with the whole situation.  I am fat, and have been my whole adult life, and even before that as a normal-sized teenager, I was always told by my peers that I was a cow so I FELT like a cow, so I’ve never really known the feeling of being happy with yourself.  I am getting married in 4 months, and I am seriously struggling with the fact that, no two ways about it, I will be a fat bride.  I feel like the best I’m going to get is “she looks nice!” from everyone because I’m fat.  And now that it’s like “OMG wedding coming up” it’s harder to lose weight than ever. 

    I wish I could feel like you!  I will come back to this post in the future when I am feeling down, to try to remind myself what I should be focusing on.

    Also, thank you on the garter thing.  I have always hated
    the idea of this, never mind the fact that no garter out there would fit
    my leg!  I bought a cheap-ass one for a buck that my newly-minted
    husband can grab from somewhere, if we even do the garter at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/missleelee84 Leigh Miller

    i am supposed to get married in july of 2013 and im starting to get a bit depressed. i am a very large woman, so large in fact that there are no bridal stores that cary dresses even close to my size, and i dont have the money to have a seamstress make one from scratch for me. my first wedding with my ex husband i diddnt have a real wedding at all, and as much as i really wanted a wedding this time, i feel like just giving up on that dream and doing the same thing i did last time, just going to the court and signing the papers.
    i just dont know what to do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/missleelee84 Leigh Miller

    ive never really concidered 14-16 a plus size. its more average in my oppinion. but i know im having a hard time with mine as i wear a 34-36 dress (now thats plus size lol) but the only bridal shop i can afford (davids bridal) only carries dresses up to size 30 so yeah its difficult.

  • http://www.facebook.com/missleelee84 Leigh Miller

    140 for your height is not fat at all. its actualy only 10 lbs from what medical professionals concider perfectly healthy. it bugs me to see normal girls who are perfectly healthy weight say they are fat or have other people say that. i think those girls should be thankful they are not fat. like me. i am what constitutes fat. i am 5’7″ and i weigh 295. that is fat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/missleelee84 Leigh Miller

    i was thinking of going to ebay for my dress, not the one where you show the pic but one of the ones that have their own pattern and you pick which one you want and then they make it according to your specifications, but i was nervous about doing that because i was afraid that even if i told them i have a 64 inch waist and a 45 inch bust that they would send me something with a 20 bust and a 42 inch waist or something. then i would be screwed. cause you cant let dresses out that much, without a heafty price. and my budget for the dress is $200 and my budget for any alterations is about the same if not less.

  • Kristie Cunningham

     Leigh, don’t be so sure you can’t afford a custom dress.  If you can find a good, affordable seamstress (perhaps one that can sew anything, but isn’t eye-deep in the wedding trade and jacking up her prices), you might be surprised.  When I got married (many years ago now), I went to a seamstress just to have some inexpensive bridesmaids’ dresses made.  I figured I’d buy my dress, but she said, “So, what are you doing for your dress,” and kind of nudged me into discussing it.  In the end, I had her make it, and I brought in pictures from the bridal magazines to show her what I liked.  It ended up perfect.  I loved it, it fit me like a glove, and all for $250.  If you have someone in your family or friends network who can sew, maybe you could get it done for cost of materials.  Don’t give up; you shouldn’t be sad on your wedding day because you’re not getting what you really wanted.

  • CLC

    You go girl! You look amazing. I feel like being a larger girl is harder at times. You can advertise to your followers that anyone in Southern California can come to our Enzoani Sample Sale on March 10 2012. We will have a very wide selection of dresses up to size 26! Come check us out at http://www.ByInvitationOnlyOC.com/enzoani and sign  up for an appointment. The flyer is wrong in the sense that we will have larger sizes then 14. 

  • Felishagannon

    You look amazing,,,,iam i plus size woman and im 23 and im getting married in october..and everyday whats on my mind is AM I GOING TO FIT IN MY DRESS….IS SOMEONE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME….it all runs in my mind everyday and i have i have 8 more months till my wedding and im really nervouse…

  • http://soontobemrsstables.wordpress.com/ Frankii

    This is one of my favourite blog posts that I have EVER read, I am dieting for my wedding, but still, if I lost the three stone I am planning to, I will still be FAT.
    This post rescued me when I was having a moment, and I am forever grateful for your frank honesty and tips (plus you look lovely in your dress) x

  • Theadomm

    I wish I had found your site before I got married. Fortunately I am very comfortable with who I am and what “plus” size I am and I found a team of amazing people to help me out. My dress maker had never made a plus size dress but she never said so till afterwards when her response was “I was so scared I wouldn’t get it right because its your day but I have learned so much and I think I should take more plus sized clients because you and the dress look absolutely gorgeous”. and I did and my dress was perfect. My one brides maid did drag me to a dress shop before I found her and even phoned ahead to politely check they had my sizes before ‘spontaniously’ suggesting we pop in. Wow the dresses were aweful. Why they think they can just upsize something that would look great on a suer skinny model I have no idea.

    My make-up artist and I got on so well. She kept saying things during my trial like ‘you have such a beautiful face to play with’ and your personality matches you (ha ha its big ;D) and you seem very comfortable in your own skin. I ended up as the face for her adverts in the bridal magazines and she was determined I should become a model. Ha I am not even small enough to be a plus sized model. All very positive and good.

    I did lose a couple friends though, mostly over the fat that their fat friend they never saw as competition was getting married before they were. I learnt a valuable lesson that even your best friends can surprise you with their prejudices someone they once saw as that easy comfotable friend they didn’t have to compete with suddenly becomes a winner in a race that doesn’t really exist.

  • Lee-Ann

    Thank you for posting this. I am getting married Feb 2013 and have been feeling so much pressure from so many people about my weight. Thing is, I am ok with it. I figure that all eyes will be on me regardless of my size and I will still be a beautiful bride. My confidence does tend to slip, but reading your post has certainly given it a lift again. The part about the shoes made me laugh. I bought heels for my ceremony, but I was smart and got the matching pumps for the reception :)

    You were a BEAUTIFUL bride. Thank you again. Best of luck to you and your husband.

  • chubby september bride

    Thank god. The last relevant page I came across on the internet was, no kidding, a wedding photographer asking how to politely tell his fat bride client to wear a dress with sleeves. I would like to take a moment to point out, in a more hospitable environment, that it is IMPOSSIBLE to find a dress with sleeves, due to this making it hard for fashion designers to force us all to wear the same white boob tube (how dare women have different arm sizes). Its nice to hear that I don’t have to let society get me down. You’re amazing! Me and all my chub are going to rock my uniform standard boob tube!

  • Betsy N.

    Love your dress. You look phenomenal. Also, thank you so much for the advice– the “I statement” part is super helpful.

    I’m going to be a fat bride this October and cannot thank you enough for this post!

  • Invidosa

    Thank you, I am four months out from my wedding, and I REALLY needed some encouragement today! Your wedding looks amazing,

  • Larunnon

    I am about to be a Fat Bride, and I am so glad I came across your page as the closer I get to my big day the more depressed I am becoming about my size (which is due to health issues which in turn are being triggered off by my getting depressed)  You’ve made me hold my head up high again, so thank you and I am so glad that I was honest with all my vendors that I was cuddly and not skinny as they were all understanding and have done all that they can ( the lady making my dress is cuddly too so she completely understands) thanks again!!!

  • Sarah

    Bonnie, your photo is so beautiful, I almost cried. Thanks for sharing!

  • Amanda

    This is way old but for anyone reading this I found a great website for plus sized lingerie:
    http://www.hipsandcurves.com/plus-size-lingerie/ It’s fairly priced and really sexy. ;)

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